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swissmissficrecs · 4 years ago

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Favorite Sherlock Holmes fics from 2020

Usually I put a bunch of explanations and disclaimers on these lists but you know what, it was a weird year and I’m not going to try to justify or apologize for what I read or didn’t read so here are my favorites that were completed last year, in descending order of length:

and your very flesh shall be a great poem by CaitlinFairchild (151K, E, Johnlock) After a tragic confrontation with terrible consequences, Sherlock and John follow Mary as she flees to America.

Drawn to Stars by Silvergirl (107K, E, Johnlock, Sherlock/OMC) After the Culverton Smith case Sherlock is clean, working, and looking for a romantic partner—since John has told him that’s what he needs. Shame John didn’t mention he was interested in that role himself, before Sherlock went off to Rome with a gorgeous Italian copper to try to fall in love and become a complete human being. (This one is very slightly cheating because it was finished on 30 Dec 2019, but it didn't make it onto my 2019 list because I didn't read it until after I'd made the list. And it deserves to be on a Best Of list, so here it is.)

Thermocline by J_Baillier (83K, M, Johnlock) John "Five Oceans" Watson — technical dive instructor, dive accident analyst and weapon of mass seduction — meets recluse professor of maritime archaeology Holmes. As they head out to a remote archipelago off the coast of Guatemala to study and film its shipwrecks for a documentary, will sparks fly or fizzle out?

Do No Harm by Calais_Reno (79K, T, Johnlock) In 1923, Dr John Watson is on trial for the murder of his lover, Mary Morstan, a writer of popular mysteries. If convicted, he will hang. Sherlock Holmes sets out to prove his innocence, but finds himself more and more infatuated with the handsome doctor, and deeper and deeper inside the bohemian world of London's painters, playwrights, and poets. Will he uncover the evidence needed to acquit him in time?

To Be Human by ohlooktheresabee (78K, NR, Johnlock) There is a serial killer on the loose with a penchant for collecting the brains of his victims. Sherlock, John and Scotland Yard are on the case, but something about the chosen victims has Sherlock on edge. While they piece together the clues that will lead to the killer, John begins to realize that the way his best friend thinks may sometimes be more a hindrance than a help….

immediate and inglorious by simplyclockwork (72K, E, Johnlock) Bodies are showing up in back alleys, with no sign of a struggle, no trace of drugs. If not for the strangulation bruises on their necks and the scythe carved into their left shoulders, they could have died peacefully, in their sleep. With New Scotland Yard dumbfounded by the Grim Reaper Killer case, Sherlock is called in to consult. The more he investigates, the deeper Sherlock finds himself drawn into the work of London's newest serial killer. As his views of good and bad begin to blur, he risks losing himself to a darkness he never imagined. And, even more pressing: where does John Watson, grieving ex-boyfriend of the Grim Reaper's latest victim, fit into all of this?

Curtain Rising by tiger_in_the_flightdeck (61K, E, Johnlock) A disgraced television star is the target of a series of death threats just after a theatre production’s adaptation of The Sound of Music is announced with her as the lead. The suspect list is a mile long and growing, Rosie Watson is in the spotlight, and Sherlock might be getting too fond of his time on stage to focus on the case. With opening night approaching, can he and John figure out who wants their client dead before her final curtain rises?

The Fire Finds a Home by fearfully_beautifully_made (61K, E, Johnlock) After Sherlock and John decide to give having a relationship a go, this is how their relationship starts to develop. There a little bit of plot, if you squint, but it was mostly an excuse to write John and Sherlock having sex in a lot of different ways and learning to love each other.

Borrowed Ghosts by DiscordantWords (57K, M, Johnlock) In the aftermath of the Culverton Smith case, John spent one painfully stilted afternoon hanging out with Sherlock. He counted the minutes, finished his tea, and left for home without ever clearing the air between them. And once he'd left, he found it very hard to go back.

You Might Just as Well Be Blind by ArwaMachine (56K, E, Johnlock) When a serial killer starts targeting couples, Sherlock and John must do what they have to do in order to get to the bottom of things. Unfortunately, John already has a girlfriend. Surely pretending to be in a relationship with Sherlock won't pose any problems with his relationship, will it?

The Broken Tether by J_Baillier (54K, M, Johnlock) Maybe he thinks that you only enjoy his company because of the Work, because of the way his dazzling intellect shines when he's in his element, but the truth is this: it is when he is at his most human, most bare, that you feel closest to him.

how the light gets in by subtext-is-my-division (Quill_A) (54K, E, Johnlock) Red wine always makes him tipsier than usual and he finds himself saying, the words slurring a bit. “You know, I’ve got to ask. Do you always shoot cabbies for people you barely you know?” John meets his gaze over the rim of his glass, and there’s something there that Sherlock can’t pin down. “Not for everyone,” he says, meaningfully, pointedly, his smile all teeth.

Erosion by saintscully (53K, E, Johnlock) Sherlock’s father falls ill, leaving the surviving family members broken and rudderless. James Sholto shows up in London unexpectedly, his intentions unclear. John has to navigate the consequences of crime, illness and death and their impact on his frayed relationship with Sherlock.

Hold You Like a Weapon by MissDavis (52K, E, Johnlock) Eurus shows up at 221B Baker Street in labour. Things go downhill from there.

Chances Are by Berty (51K, M, Johnlock) Sherlock is spending some time in his mind palace - so far, so normal. But why is John there, why do things keep changing and why are there only two exits from the sitting room at 221B, neither of which seem to go anywhere useful? It's a case like no other for Sherlock Holmes and John Watson.

Sine Nomine by SilentAuror (45K, E, Johnlock) As Mycroft reviews the footage from Culverton Smith's morgue, he revisits his original question: whether John Watson would be the making of his brother, or make him worse than ever. He's come to a conclusion, but decides to give John one last chance. So he gives him a choice.

Cockaigne by HollyShadow88 (38K, E, Johnlock) When John’s contacted by an old uni friend about problems in his new art exhibition, he doesn’t think it will be worth Sherlock’s time. After a glance of the crime scene, however, they’re both pulled into the project in ways John didn’t expect. Will a week of erotic performance art finally be enough to bring them together in the way they both secretly hope? (Spoiler: it’s a tropey fic, of course it will)

Written in Ashes by 88thParallel (37K, M, Johnlock) Sherlock becomes the prime suspect in a homicide case, and recently unearthed memories of his childhood are complicating matters. It's up to John to track down answers — can he help Sherlock before it's too late?

A Desperate Indulgence by LollipopCop (34K, M, Johnlock) John thinks it's 2012 after waking up with amnesia, having no memory of Mary. Sherlock, exhausted from years of tension and hiding his love, pretends they got married instead.

Inhale With Ease by Vulpesmellifera (25K, E, Johnlock) In the years after Vivian Norbury's capture, life seems to work out just as John planned. He's got that respectable job at the surgery and goes home to his wife and child. He joins Sherlock on cases a couple times per week. It's a rhythm he can live with - just enough adrenaline highs to balance out the drudgery of a normal bloke's life. Until a pandemic, and Victor Trevor, arrive in London.

The House on Rue des Boulangers by Berty (24K, M, Johnlock) After being invalided out of the army and without any other prospects, John Watson has relocated to a small town in northern France. Now he has to decide what to do for the rest of his life. One morning there's a mad stranger in his garden chasing a swarm of bees, and it seems John's decision is made.

High Mountain Tea Leaves by disfictional (23K, E, Johnlock) A mountaintop robbery on a Japanese-occupation-era train where the only item stolen was a small case of mysterious tea leaves in a backpack? An ideal Christmas gift, two days late. Sherlock convinces John to travel for tea.

Detours by saintscully (22K, M, Johnlock, Sherlock/OMC) During the better part of the first year following Mary's death and the events at Sherrinford, Sherlock and John are slowly rebuilding their lives and their friendship. All seems (relatively) well and John takes comfort in once again being a father, a doctor and a friend. An unexplained shift in Sherlock's behaviour catches John by surprise, and he begins to worry about his place in his friend's life. John has to examine everything he thought he knew about Sherlock, himself and their relationship in order to win his rightful place yet again.

hands full of matter by simplyclockwork (21K, E, Johnlock) When Sherlock is captured in Serbia, Mycroft cannot afford to involve the British government in his rescue. Instead, he sends John. After two years spent thinking Sherlock was dead, John finds himself navigating not only Sherlock’s rescue but their fractured friendship as well.

The Victim Experience by J_Baillier (16K, T, Gen) A case takes Sherlock and John deep into the seedy underbelly of the haunted attractions industry. With audiences craving more and more intense experiences, is a real murder the next logical step?

On the Fence by BeautifulFiction (13K, T, Johnlock) The murder of the King's College fencing champion leads to revelations about Sherlock's past. Will it be the point that tips them from friends to lovers, or will they remain on the fence?

Plus bonus ACD era:

"Baker Street: The Sleep of Reason": A Memoir by John H. Watson, M.D. by Gaedhal (98K, M, Johnlock, Johniarty) This is a Victorian Era story in the "Sherlock Holmes" (2009) Ritchie-verse. The main characters are Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson and is from the doctor's memoirs. It was written before "A Game of Shadows" so there are differences in this story and film canon, mainly in the person and backstory of one particular character.

The Taste of Truth by sanguinity (25K, T, Johnlock) Two and a half years after Reichenbach, John Watson discovers the magical tree that caused Holmes to fake his death.

The Adventure of the Vatican Cameos by Garonne (18K, E, Johnlock) How should one behave when waking for the first time in the bed of one's dearest friend? Holmes and Watson solve a case in Catholic London while navigating the turbid waters of their new relationship.

Hot Water by wordybirdy (13K, E, Johnlock, Watson/Gregson) Dr. John Watson's libidinous affair with a respected Scotland Yard inspector abruptly judders to a halt when the former meets a certain Mr. Sherlock Holmes, Consulting Detective, for the very first time. The attraction between the two is strongly mutual, but misunderstandings only multiply and tensions abound, as all three men attempt to deal with the new situation.

#rec list #best

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shihalyfie · 4 years ago

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A meta and analysis on Yagami Taichi

Being the face of Adventure and arguably the rest of the franchise, Taichi has the honor of being an important figure in the realm of shounen anime overall, which has the unfortunate side effect of very often being described with things that don’t actually match him at all -- the way people often talk about him (especially mainstream press) tends to portray him like a stereotypical shounen hero who charges aggressively into everything and is hot-blooded all of the time. That’s not...quite on the mark.

I think “impulsive” is certainly a correct way to describe him, but in a very different way than one might think -- and, in fact, Taichi is much more of a multifaceted character than he’s often pigeonholed as. How? Well, let’s talk about it!

Taichi in Adventure

The main reason it’s probably incorrect to call Taichi “hot-blooded” by nature is that, in actuality, he is far more often too chill than otherwise. It’s not that he aggressively charges into everything without any rhyme or reason! Rather, it’s more like he takes everything very easily and has a “don’t worry about it!” attitude.

In fact, I think our friend the Animation Chronicle explains it better than I can:

If he doesn’t know/understand something, he acts while he tries to figure it out...

So in other words, rather than our conventional version of “being impulsive” meaning beelining to the most aggressive possible action, rather, it’s more like “the first thing that pops into his head” -- even if it’s a fairly easygoing or relatively harmless-seeming solution, he just goes for it because it sounds like it’ll work and he doesn’t see any reason why not.

That said, it’s also made abundantly clear by multiple sources that his ideas do come with some kind of consideration:

From the Animation Chronicle: “He appears to move with reckless abandon, but he actually does take in his surroundings and he takes good care of his juniors in the soccer club.”

From the Adventure novels: “Taichi treated everyone without discrimination, as equals. That attitude of his didn’t change, even towards Koushiro. If Taichi hadn’t invited him, Koushiro was sure that he would have never gone to summer camp.”

Sora and Koushirou even back this up personally in Adventure episode 16, when Koushirou points out that Taichi had always been kind to his juniors, and Sora recalls an incident when he’d foregone an opportunity to score a goal because he’d known Sora was more likely to pull it off successfully.

So in other words, Taichi is, fundamentally speaking, not someone who does things for personal glory, but does want to work for other people’s sake. It’s just that, in trying to carry that out, he has a tendency to default to the first thing that pops into his head. Or in other words, Taichi’s primary way of thinking is “act first and figure out the details later” -- and this has both good and bad things about it.

Firstly, the fact that Taichi has such an “action-first” philosophy means that he’s capable of acting very practically in situations when others would freeze up. A very good example of this is Adventure episode 21; after angsting for half an episode considering quitting the fighting and enjoying his life at home, the moment he realizes that everyone else will be in danger if he leaves everyone be, he immediately instinctively steps in to help everyone. It’s not necessarily that Taichi doesn’t feel the stress or danger of fighting; it’s just that when he sees the practical impact of people he cares about getting hurt in front of him, all bets are off, because he needs to help people now.

The second thing is that, as Koushirou points out, he’s very kind to his juniors, and people in general -- he doesn’t really pay much mind to things like seniority, and is more concerned about treating everyone in accordance to their practical capabilities. This means that he’s someone who has a certain sense of charisma, especially since he’s appreciative of people’s abilities.

This is best indicated in Adventure episode 28, when two important things about Taichi are brought to the forefront:

Taichi’s natural charisma and ability to appeal to people makes him someone good at “bringing people together” -- indicated by the fact that the group hadn’t taken long to completely fall apart after he’d momentarily departed in Adventure episode 20, but came back together after he’d rallied them. The Adventure kids, coming from rather different social circles and backgrounds, were not originally the type to stay together or be particularly tight with each other by default, and so, during the first half of the series when they still had ways to go in terms of having any kind of meaningful bond with each other, they were unconsciously dependent on the charismatic Taichi to keep them together.

Taichi is a “natural leader” in every sense -- “leader” meaning not only someone who pushes people forward, but also someone who recognizes others’ abilities and is willing to delegate rather than trying to do everything by himself. This was briefly demonstrated in Sora’s Adventure episode 16 flashback when she remembers that Taichi willingly gave up the opportunity for a goal when he understood she could do it better (it’s reflected in his soccer position, too), but also here in Adventure episode 28, he gives the task of solving the card puzzle to Koushirou because he (correctly) determines that Koushirou, not himself, is best equipped to do the job. Also note that the episode makes clear that everyone agrees to it specifically because Taichi appointed him to the position -- much like how “understanding everyone’s abilities and delegating properly” is an important and necessary skill for a leader, everyone trusts Taichi to make that decision, and therefore trusts in Koushirou because he was appointed by said well-informed decision.

So those are the good things about him. What about the drawbacks?

The first is that Taichi is, unfortunately, a little emotionally insensitive. He doesn’t��mean badly, of course -- you can’t deny that his penchant for teasing or trolling people makes him quite a fun person to be around -- but he tends to lack a bit of emotional insight and is prone to crossing the line with his remarks. Again, this is a symptom of him being too chill about things at times; he tends to react with “what’s the big deal?!” -- a statement that one should absolutely not say when arguing with someone, and which tends to get Taichi in hot water, especially with Yamato.

While the trope of “the shounen hero and the cool rival often having friction” is quite common in anime like this, Adventure’s play on it is actually quite different from how it would usually be played elsewhere. In most other shounen anime, this kind of relationship would have to do with something like the hot-blooded protagonist wanting to charge in and the cool-headed person wanting to be more “rational” about it, but in Adventure, Taichi and Yamato are pit against each other due to reasons that have to do with emotions. Yamato, contrary to what his character archetype might suggest, is someone who’s openly passionate and emotional, and is also someone who goes out of his way to care about others and their welfare -- so he often gets into fights with Taichi because he perceives Taichi to be insensitive and not putting sufficient thought into the others.

Yamato’s reactions are certainly extreme -- Adventure episodes 9 very clearly depicts him as the one losing control of his emotions and escalating the argument with Taichi to a full-on fight, whereas Taichi wanted him to calm down -- but he’s not fundamentally wrong in that this is an aspect Taichi needs to improve about, because it is true that Taichi tends to take the first suggestion of “what’ll get something done” that pops into his head, but also has a problem of vastly underestimating how dangerous things might be.

Again -- and this is very important to stress -- it’s not that he doesn’t care about others, and it’s not that he’s unaware of the dangers around him or the potential for repercussions! As Sora says in Adventure episode 16, he is conscientious of his surroundings and aware of potential risks. He has always put thought into his actions, and he doesn’t just charge into things with no rhyme or reason. He just has an abysmally poor sense of judgment, because he’s so naturally chill that he thinks “it’ll be fine, don’t worry!” -- and thus starts stubbornly locking down on what he wants to do because he’s so sure it’ll be fine and that everyone (usually Yamato) is overreacting.

If you want a specific example about Taichi’s tendency to misjudge: in Adventure episode 9, Taichi and Yamato get in a fight when Yamato perceives Taichi as too insensitive about Takeru’s potential welfare, which weirds Taichi out because Yamato’s being awfully overprotective. On its face, it might seem hypocritical because we later find out in Adventure episode 48 that Taichi is just as overprotective of his own sister, but it’s important to note that in the relevant episode, Taichi states that he has to go out of his way because Hikari continually fails to vocalize whenever she’s hurt or in pain. This implies that Taichi sees Takeru as someone who’s clearly capable of taking care of himself because he expresses himself better (and thus, Taichi doesn’t understand why Yamato has to go out of his way for him). Indeed, Takeru ends up latching onto Taichi because he sees him as treating him with the independence that Yamato won’t -- but Takeru has his own very deep-seated emotional issues that he just happens to be very good at hiding, and while Taichi is certainly always looking out for Takeru, he never seemed to have become aware of this problem.

This difficulty in judgment leads into a certain pattern of behavior that Taichi exhibits that only comes up in very specific situations, but is so consistently depicted that it’s basically an inherent trait of his: what I call the “Yagami Taichi stress response”.

Taichi is the kind of selfless person who prioritizes others’ welfare over himself, and there are times when it will often fall into almost self-destructive levels. (This is a trait he actually shares with his sister, although the two of them naturally deal with it in very different ways.) His first priority is “helping everyone”, and especially “helping anyone who’s in trouble” (especially when it’s happening right in front of him). Which means that whenever he feels that others are depending on him for something, he ends up often taking too much responsibility for everyone’s welfare, and starts cracking under the pressure.

Because Taichi is the kind of person who prioritizes “action first” and figuring things out as they go along, this means that his reaction to stress is basically becoming a completely unfocused mess. Or, in other words, he lets the thought of but we have to do something!! completely consume his head, methodology be damned, and he starts panicking and doing everything in every which way to get it done, to the point he starts lashing out at others or becoming an emotional wreck because of the stress. The first time we see this is Adventure episode 16, where, being the only one with a working Crest and feeling that he and Agumon have the responsibility of protecting everyone, starts pushing himself and Agumon to carry everyone’s burdens, resulting in everything going wrong and the dark evolution to SkullGreymon at the end of the episode.

Again: It’s important to remember that, even at his “worst”, Taichi’s main priority is helping and protecting others, which means that his way of responding to that stress is basically determining that he’ll take all of the responsibility onto himself. That involves things like forcing himself to “work harder for everyone’s sake”, or becoming dangerously self-sacrificial, or at least allowing himself to become an emotional wreck because as much as he knows better, his one strongest thought is always we have to do something!!

Taichi exhibits more of this behavior in Adventure episodes 48 and 49, to the point he gets unusually aggressive with Koushirou (which is also explicitly pointed out as him not acting like his usual self) once he starts panicking about Hikari’s welfare. Again, note that all of this stems from we have to do something!! -- he basically starts panicking because despite Koushirou clearly doing the best he can, once things start going south, it’s just not enough.

So, speaking of things going south: because Taichi often misjudges situations, whenever things go wrong, he takes it badly. This is someone whose first course of action is to “act first and work it out as we go along,” but the number one thing he can’t stand is seeing other people get hurt, and so when other people do get hurt because of the consequences, Taichi shuts down -- for instance, when he learns that his ploy to attempt to get Greymon to evolve ended up hurting Koromon and everyone around him in Adventure episodes 16-17, and when his taking the Digital World too lightly (taking Koushirou’s explanation of it being “like a game world” at too much face value) ends up getting Sora in trouble and his own life in danger.

Which leads to a certain degree of irony: Taichi’s behavior isn’t normally out of solely recklessness -- mainly really poor judgment and a tendency to underestimate things -- but when he does slip up and start having to deal with consequences, he does become reckless. But because this recklessness is out of a desire to “not let anyone else get hurt”, it results in him being reckless specifically with his own welfare -- he’s the kind of person who “takes too much responsibility onto himself”, and his way of responding to the issues of “someone might get hurt” and “but we have to do something!!” means that he, by default, responds to everything with “okay, then I’ll be the one who gets hurt!” Or in other words, his solution to preventing other casualties while still doing something to help others involves becoming dangerously self-sacrificial. Because in the end, Taichi is the kind of person who hates seeing people being in trouble or hurt in front of him, and his instinct is to always protect people, no matter what.

But, again: Taichi’s way of “action first” is not a fundamentally bad thing -- remember, Adventure episode 21 established very well that this trait of his is very good for bringing him out of his biggest bouts of hesitation, because he has a very practical understanding of the need to fight in order to prevent more casualties. This is especially because the final arc of Adventure deals heavily with the concept of “collateral damage”, or the question of how to handle fighting to save people, when people are inevitably hurt (or, in this case, dying) in the process.

Yamato accuses Taichi in Adventure episode 43 of not being conscientious enough about the friends they’ve lost in the process, but once Yamato succumbs to his resentment and personal beefs and starts selfishly picking a fight with Taichi in Adventure episode 44-45, Taichi indicates that he is keeping his fallen friends in mind -- it’s just that, to him, not continuing the fight is an insult to everything they’d died for (especially because, indeed, more people will get hurt if they don’t do something).

And, ultimately, in Adventure episode 50, Taichi does conclude that Yamato, Jou, and Mimi are right about one thing: while he’s always been right about them needing to do something, they do at least need to be careful about how they go about it so that they don’t incur more sacrifices along the way. Fortunately, Taichi is a soccer captain and perfectly capable of quickly coming up with a suitable plan on the fly (he even cites it in this episode, and in fact had already demonstrated an ability to come up with tactics when necessary back in Adventure episode 20) -- it’s not that he’s never been able to do flexible thinking, it’s just that his natural tendency to be “too chill’ about things and overestimate the efficacy of the first thing that popped into his head was something he needed to learn to think through a little harder.

And so, the final episodes of Adventure indicate him finally starting to tap into his capacity for that -- thus truly becoming the definition of the Adventure group’s “leader”.

Taichi after Adventure

We learn in Our War Game! that Taichi still has a bit of a way to go in terms of the “emotional sensitivity” part, most notably when Taichi starts getting defensive when he accidentally disrupts the computer connection, and Koushirou (most likely correctly) pinpoints this insensitivity as the likely reason he and Sora got into a nasty fight prior to the events of the movie. In fact, while Taichi already clearly had some shades of this in Adventure, when his “teasing” of others or stepping over their boundaries could sometimes go a little too far, it’s especially indicated here that Taichi is very, very bad at dispute resolution, because he keeps trying to deflect blame for his own actions and indirectly accuses Sora of being the irrational one in regards to their argument. (Again, for anyone entangled in a dispute with a friend: “dismissing the other person’s feelings” and going for the ad hominem, instead of at the very least acknowledging them in the process of making your point, is the number one worst way to handle this.)

Of course, Taichi wouldn’t have gotten this far if he didn’t have the natural charisma to compensate -- again, he’s fundamentally someone who cares about other people and attends to them. But, unfortunately, he’s still bad at knowing how to deal with other people’s emotions and learning to deal with them with proper empathy...

...So, in fact, it’s striking that the Taichi we initially meet in 02 is someone who, most of the time, seems to come off as very mature and put-together. The fact that he so willingly turned over his goggles to Daisuke at the beginning of the episode is a really huge deal, frankly -- even if you don’t subscribe to the theory that there’s any major sentimental backstory to it a la V-Tamer, that’s still an item he’s kept on him since he was a tiny child and clearly must have a huge amount of attachment to, yet he immediately handed it over to Daisuke the moment he felt Daisuke was worthy of it.

It’s actually quite a bit of a swerve for those of us used to the more “playful” Taichi who sometimes took things way too lightly, but it’s also important to realize that this is the Taichi that Daisuke and his friends see. This is especially in light of the fact that Daisuke starts off the series with a very severe inability to be assertive, so Taichi, who’s always been naturally assertive from the get-go (almost too much sometimes), is everything he is not, and therefore admires.

Taichi is still Taichi, which means that he’s still subject to the Yagami Taichi stress response, and he gets very close to blowing up angrily at the others when they show up late. But unlike how he had a whole train of being rather out of control when emotionally compromised in Adventure episodes 48-49, he gets himself together fairly quickly and admits that he also didn’t want to force everyone to come if they didn’t want to (to the point where he had even thought about going alone with Hikari in the worst-case scenario -- again, note the tendency for self-sacrifice and putting responsibility on himself).

We also see him about to lapse into it again at the end of the episode, when he freezes up because he’s not sure about what to do in regards to the potential of hurting Agumon in the process of getting him back -- but Yamato manages to get him back on his feet, rather literally, and with a punch to the face.

This punch tends to be really often misinterpreted as if violence is just a fact of life when it comes to Taichi and Yamato, but it is very, very important to understand the context behind this scene and how it differs from the two’s relationship in Adventure. Whenever the two fought back in Adventure, it would be a very vicious argument with the two genuinely angry at each other, and with Yamato accusing Taichi of being insensitive and thus becoming hostile and resentful towards him. In this scene, however, Yamato has become conscientious of Taichi’s own feelings and reasons for hesitating. This is evidenced by the fact he only does a single punch and holds out his hand to Taichi right after -- said punch was strictly meant as one meant to snap him back to reality, and Yamato holds out that hand knowing that Taichi will not take it as anger or resentment, but rather “I did this because you needed something to get you back into focus, I know you also know this and won’t take it as an insult, and I understand your feelings and want to help you.”

It’s important in establishing the level of deep trust Taichi and Yamato have where they understand each other’s positions now without fighting over it -- the two of them even point out in the next episode that the reason they can get away with this is because of how much worse they used to go through before, but now, the two of them treat each other with mutual sympathy, understanding, and support, and devoid of condescension whatsoever. And because of that, Taichi is able to “snap out” of his hesitation much more quickly than he would three years prior, because now he has Yamato’s emotional support, and Yamato even frames the situation in a way the “we have to do something!!” Taichi would understand: if they don’t do something, Agumon will continue to be the Kaiser’s slave destroying everything that he himself would never want to see destroyed, and even if they end up accidentally losing him in the process, it would arguably be a bigger mercy to him than it would to let him continue in this state. It’s all very practical reasoning that works best with Taichi’s way of thinking, and because of that, they’re able to push forward into the events of the next episode.

But just because he’s become more mature doesn’t mean he’s lost his characteristic charisma or ability to be playful or a tease -- after all, Taichi has always had a penchant for a bit of a smug personality, sometimes even bordering on the petulant. This especially comes out when he’s with Agumon, but, really, Taichi is a person who really likes fun.

On another interesting note, however, Taichi sends Sora off in 02 episode 38 when he’s very heavily implied to have caught on that Sora is about to confess to Yamato, and pushes her on without giving her grief for it. Regardless of whether you subscribe to the theory that Taichi has his own unresolved feelings in the situation, the important part is that he understood that this was a grave enough situation for Sora that this did not merit teasing her or insensitively poking into her feelings on it -- in other words, it’s a huge contrast to Adventure episode 26 when he was clearly at a loss on how to deal with her when she was emotionally compromised, and Agumon and Gabumon commented that he wasn’t as mature as Yamato in dealing with this.

But now, Taichi is much more capable of showing actual empathy for others and understanding when it’s the time to hold back on the teasing or potential insensitivity, and for that, Agumon compliments him on the same maturity he’d failed to express three years prior.

By the time we get to Kizuna, the fact that Taichi is one of the lead protagonists is for obvious meta reasons (he’s the protagonist of Adventure, after all), but it also makes sense that a movie centered around the millennial existential crisis -- and, specifically, the issue of career uncertainty -- would have him as a major player in it. Remembering that Taichi is fundamentally the kind of person who operates as “act first, deal with it later,” it makes perfect sense that the terrifying pressure of dealing with something as vague and uncertain as career pressure would be something that Taichi would continually put off. Again, Taichi is a very practical-minded person who usually works best with things that are clearly happening in front of him, so “wide-ranging” things are things he plays badly with.

Despite Taichi being very clearly depicted as “out of it” for this movie, at the very least, certain fundamental personality traits of his haven’t gone away -- for one, he’s still one of the most expressive characters in the movie (to the point many a fan has commented on his jackpot of facial expressions) in terms of petulance, sometimes getting a little defensive, and driving poor Koushirou a little nuts with his tendency to be reckless with electronics. He also gets a bit cocky during the battle with Eosmon, which, again, tracks with his tendency to do that every so often (and to be fair to him, everyone was guilty of severely underestimating Eosmon at the time, so it’s not like this was a major miscalculation on Taichi’s part).

Moreover, much like in 02, Taichi and Yamato are understanding of each other’s feelings to the extent that Yamato is the first person Taichi calls to dump his feelings about his existential crisis over. Even though they’re still prone to some mild bickering at the beginning of the movie, they immediately go back on high-fiving terms right after, so it’s a very far cry from the time back in Adventure when Yamato would look down on Taichi for being insensitive.

But here, we have this one line that basically represents the source of all of the problems Taichi ends up going through in this movie, including the reason for his loss of Agumon: Taichi is trying to “force” himself to become an independent person, and in the process is pushing Agumon away, and, on a more metaphorical level, his own self.

Taichi moved out of his parents’ house under the pretense of not burdening his family, but Hikari’s comment about their mother wanting him to drop by indicates that it’s not likely they necessarily wanted him to move out -- and despite that, Taichi is miserable in his daily routine of walking back and forth from school and working at a part-time job and eating convenience store food. He’s clearly lonely, yet he won’t allow Agumon into his room (it’s stated that his visit midway into the movie is his first time here). He keeps his old goggles and Digivice, yet he shuts it in a drawer and only opens the drawer to stare at it from time to time, and when Agumon finally does visit and finds his AVs, Taichi freaks out and pins it as an “adult thing” before he finds himself in the awkward situation of basically gatekeeping his own partner with a societal standard he doesn’t even understand.

I should point out that the AVs are not strictly porn, if you want to be really technical about it; it’s “gravure” videos, involving a cosplayer dressing up in sexy/high-exposure outfits and striking suggestive poses, but it’s not actually explicit porn. Moreover, a toned-down version of this scene exists in the Shueisha Mirai version of the novel, where the issue is not about AVs but rather the fact that Taichi only has alcohol in his fridge -- absolutely nothing non-alcoholic, despite how impractical this is -- because “[he’s] an adult, after all.” So the point of this scene is that Taichi’s being performative, or in other words trying to do Adult Things because That’s What Adults Do. And since a Digimon partner is representative of the inner self, and especially established in 02 to have relevance to one’s “less dignified and more childish dreams”, Taichi looking down on Agumon, i.e. looking down on himself, becomes the reason why he ends up losing him at the end of this movie.

As things get worse for Taichi and the crisis escalates, we actually get another glimpse of the Yagami Taichi stress response -- Yamato confronts him on whether he’s okay with going in to save all of the Eosmon victims despite knowing what’ll happen to their partners. Taichi, frantically (Hanae Natsuki’s voice acting really sells it here), has an emotional outburst and professes that, no, of course he’s not, but, again: they have to do something!! Because in the end, Taichi is a selfless person who understands that bad things are happening to people now, and the important thing is saving them now and dealing with the consequences once that’s done with, and even Yamato admits that, as much as he hates it, this is the correct answer.

Taichi does, unfortunately, lose Agumon at the end of the movie, but there are multiple indications he’s already on his way to getting him back, given that Taichi’s starting to address all of the problems he was neck deep in at the start of the movie. In the middle of the movie, after having shut his goggles in the drawer all of this time and only pulling it out whenever he was depressed, he decides to embrace the courage they initially symbolized and puts them back on his neck, and when we reach the climax of the movie, he uses Hikari’s old whistle to wake everyone up. This needs to be distinguished from all of the “nostalgia” everyone else had been drowning themselves in by looping themselves eternally in old memories from a desire to never move on from them; symbolically speaking, Taichi’s blowing of the whistle represents acknowledging the important things in your past, and making productive use of them to move onto the future, rather than the unhealthy reactions of either drowning eternally in nostalgia, or performatively shutting everything out about your past in a bid to reach some arbitrary standard of adulthood.

Hence, Taichi’s thesis -- the one he had failed to write at the beginning of the movie -- is only filled out once Taichi embraces that past version of himself, because his thesis summary is about reflection on his past experiences, and making use of those to think about how to apply them to the future.

This is, obviously, intended as a lead-up to the 02 epilogue in which Taichi becomes an ambassador -- or in other words, someone who indeed specializes in “bringing humans and Digimon together” and offering proposals on how they can coexist in the future. Agumon, of course, is an important part of this job (look at his suit and bowtie!), instead of Taichi shutting him out and treating him like someone who doesn’t belong in his adult life.

Of the careers depicted in the epilogue, Taichi’s is the most “furthest-reaching”, since, as a diplomat, he has influence over a pretty huge range of things, which fits with Taichi’s tendency to shoot for some pretty high things -- and, also, conceptually, it works well with what we’ve always known since Adventure to be Taichi’s true specialties as a “leader”: having the charisma and understanding to bring people from different places together, and to lead them all forward.

#digimon #digimon adventure #digimon adventure 02 #digimon adventure last evolution kizuna #kizuna spoilers #yagami taichi #taichi yagami #shihameta

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markets · 4 years ago

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helloooo

so this post of mine has been gaining some traction lately and due to popular demand (aka one comment telling me to write it), i actually wrote an essay about it. is it good? probably not lol, but its like 3 double spaced pages long and i actually really like it, so id appreciate it if you checked it out!

it’ll be under the cut but first i just wanted to clarify some things: this is about their characters on the smp, not them as real people. so just pretend that theres a c! in front of every name i mention lol. also, im still about a month behind on the smp and havent watched every stream, so if anything is inaccurate/not up to date i apologize

Two Sides of the Same Coin: A Tommy and Tubbo Analysis

Over the years, many fictional characters have been deemed two sides of the same coin; two things that are closely related regardless of how different they may seem. Tommy and Tubbo fit that description to a tee. Their positive and negative qualities balance each other out perfectly, something that allows them to bring about meaningful change when they’re together but causes chaos to reign when they’re apart, a fact that Dream used to his advantage during the exile arc.

One of the ways they balance each other out is in their leadership styles. Tommy leads with his heart and tends to let his emotions take control, while Tubbo has been known to lead with his head and make decisions based on logic rather than what he’s feeling at the time. An example of this was when he exiled Tommy to avoid violence and trouble for his country in the long run rather than letting his lifelong friendship with him cloud his judgement. By themselves, anyone who leads with their heart or head alone is bound to run into pitfalls, but being together allows the good qualities of these forms of leadership to shine through and the bad ones to cancel each other out: Tubbo acts as a voice of reason for Tommy and helps him think rationally, while Tommy helps Tubbo lead with more compassion to avoid becoming, in his own words, “the next Schlatt”.

In addition to this, some of their greatest flaws complement each other as well. Tommy is constantly regarded as being too stubborn, emotional, and angry, qualities that made Wilbur believe he would never be president and are the reason why Dream is scared of him. On the other hand, Tubbo is known to be a pushover, a “yes man” who, despite being able to stand his ground sometimes, typically gives in to others too easily. Just like Tommy, this quality made many believe he’d make a horrible president. However, the complementary nature of their friendship allows them to help one another and balance out each other's flaws: Tommy helps Tubbo stand his ground and make decisions for himself, while Tubbo helps Tommy avoid doing anything rash. A great example of this last statement is the aftermath of Tubbo’s execution, when Tommy was angry and started looking for the button to explode Manberg, despite his hesitancy to do so earlier, saying “Where’s the button? They fucked up for the last time”. However, Tubbo put a stop to this by telling him to go with him to Pogtopia.

There are many more examples of how they balance each other out from the times when they have been together, but even more can be seen when they're apart. Their separation was the root cause of all the chaos that occurred during and directly after the exile arc. Without Tommy and his warnings against becoming “the next Schlatt”, Quackity was able to take the helm in most major decisions and pressure Tubbo into violent political plans, despite one of the main reasons for exiling Tommy being to avoid violence. Tubbo only stood up to him when he realized one of his plans directly paralleled his execution under Schlatt’s rule. Meanwhile, without Tubbo there to support Tommy, he ended up teaming up with Technoblade, another thing Tubbo sought to avoid with the exile. Tommy’s habit of letting his emotions take over, not to mention his post-exile mental instability, and Technoblade’s penchant for violence and the destruction of L’Manberg proved to be a dangerous combination, since Technoblade not only failed to stop Tommy’s rash behavior but also encouraged it.

It is highly likely that Dream was not only aware of these facts but also motivated by them. This can be seen many times throughout the exile arc, as well as right before it began. Not only was Tommy’s crime arguably worthy of no more than the originally proposed three week probation, if Dream really wanted to unfairly punish Tommy, there are many arguably worse punishments he could’ve chosen, such as execution, forcing Tommy to give him one of his precious discs (though it’s not likely that Tommy would’ve given in to that easily), or the destruction of L’Manberg. However, Dream likely knew that, by separating Tommy and Tubbo, they would do his work for him and destroy L’Manberg from the inside. After physically separating them by successfully getting Tubbo to exile Tommy, Dream took it upon himself to emotionally separate Tommy from his best friend as much as possible by talking about how much better things were in L’Manberg without him there, breaking his spirit, and feeding him lies, such as the lie about what happened to Tubbo’s compass or his sabotaged beach party.

In addition, there is a small detail in Dream’s plan that is commonly overlooked: his mention of Technoblade's house. Without looking too much into it, it simply seems like an offhand comment made to perpetuate the idea that Dream was his friend. However, if Dream’s primary goal was to keep Tommy as isolated as possible from everyone else, it would make no sense for him to not only tell him how close by another person lived, but also give him directions to them, even if the person was one of the people Tommy hated the most. From this standpoint, it seems foolish, but it could actually be viewed as one of Dream’s smartest moves. From this, it can be inferred that Dream was not only aware of how destructive a Technoblade and Tommy teamup would be, but also encouraged it. For this same reason, he let Tommy stay in hiding with Technoblade, even after he told Ghostbur he knew he had been there. By doing this, Dream was able to twist Tommy’s volatility and aversion to the rules, the very qualities that made him the only person Dream feared, in his favor.

For all his flaws, Dream is a smart man, and he was able to realize what many others failed to: Tommy and Tubbo’s bond was the heart and soul of L’Manberg, one of the only things keeping it running. Without them together balancing each other out, they became powerful forces of mostly unintentional chaos and destruction, collapsing the country they loved and playing right into Dream’s hands. They are two sides of the same coin: despite how different they may seem, they are closely related, necessary to each other's ability to flourish, grow, and survive, and cannot be separated.

TL;DR: DO!! NOT!! SEPARATE THEM!!!!!!!!

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baepsaesbae · 4 years ago

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Pag Lubog Ng Araw || When the Sun Goes Down

Pairing— Jeon Jungkook x reader

Genre— SMUT, Angst, Enemies to Lovers au, Delinquent gang au

Warnings— Oral (f receiving), face riding, explicit unprotected sex, somewhat rough sex, fighting (they engage in fisticuffs quite a bit), swearing

Word Count— 2.4k

Summary— The gang leader of an enemy group has been getting on your nerves. This town ain’t big enough for the both of you.

A/N— Thank you @dollwithluv for requesting! I hope you like it! I got kinda carried away with this one oops. You can still request drabbles up until the end of the August with this post

“Is that all you got, Jeon?” you spat in his face after blocking a powerful kick.

“I’m going easy on you. Just testing out the waters,” Jungkook smirked before landing another blow, knocking you aside.

Now it’s your turn to show off. With your balance regained, you launched forward to unleash a flurry of fast punches and jabs on Jungkook’s torso. That made Jungkook stagger backwards, but it wasn’t nearly close enough to knock him down. And so the scuffle continued.

You and your gang of girls ruled this town, striking fear into any man who dared looked your way. Or so you thought. Recently, a rowdy group of boys were looking to expand their territory--directly into yours. Of course, you weren’t going down without a fight. Literally.

“You idiots get lost! We’ve been here for ages,” one of your posse members yelled over your skirmish.��

“Why don’t you ladies just move aside? You’ll be under our protection once we take over. You guys can even continue patrolling like you normally would. The only difference is that you’d be flying under our banner, so to speak. That ain’t too bad, right?” one of the boys from Jungkook’s band of delinquents (you believe his name was Seokjin) tried to reason.

“Over my dead body!” you screamed as you exchanged blows with Jungkook.

“That can be arranged,” Jungkook gritted his teeth.

“Get em boss!” underlings from both sides cheered.

10 minutes later, both you and Jungkook were battered and bruised. Jungkook’s lip was busted and your nose was bleeding. Both sides concluded that the match was a draw.

“You’re tougher than I thought,” Jungkook acknowledged.

“I’ll knock your ass to the ground and beat you to a pulp next time,” you threatened with a menacing glare.

“So feisty,” Jungkook chuckled as he spat out blood.

Back at your gang’s headquarters (an abandoned shack that you refurbished), your friends tended to your wounds.

“You have no idea how badly I wanted to jump in and smash his skull in,” Nayeon tsked as she bandaged your hands, “But I know you would’ve hung my booty above your fireplace if I meddled.”

“I appreciate the concern. He roughed me up pretty good, but I’m sure he’s licking his wounds right now too. Plus this is a leader to leader thing. You are my girls, and I’m gonna fight for you till the very end,” you gave them a thumbs up with a smug smile.

The girls cheered and applauded for their fearless leader. They know that past your tough exterior, you’re a fiercely loyal kind hearted person. Most of the gals joined your group after you saved them from being harassed or abused by various men. If there’s one thing you hate, it’s misogynists. Or maybe just men in general.

Both gangs practically tiptoed around each other for the following weeks while their leaders were still recovering. You tried devising plans to run them out of town. Your gang was bigger, so you’d definitely win in an all out war against seven guys. But you quickly brushed that idea aside, not wanting to endanger your crew.

“We gotta have another showdown,” you concluded during a gang meeting.

“What?! You got so hurt last time. There’s no way we could let you--”

“Shut up! What ___ says goes. You know that,” Nayeon silenced the complaint.

“Sunmi, bring this letter to the Bulletproof Boy Scouts. I still can’t believe they named themselves that,” you snickered as you handed her a paper with a formal challenge scribbled on it.

“Uh, boss, I don’t think we’ll need to send that letter,” someone called out from the back after there was a pounding on the door.

“Open it,” you commanded.

Standing on the other side of the door was a pretty boy whose smile lit up the room. No one would believe that he’s in a delinquent gang, you barely could. But then again, it seemed like that gang only recruited models with a penchant for violence and mischief.

“Hey pretty ladies! I’m Jimin. I come on behalf of the leader of the Bangtan Boys. He wants a final showdown. Only him and ___ are allowed in the specified location while they fight. He said the rest of us can brawl outside if we felt like it, but I’ll leave that decision up to the audience. Here’s our official note of challenge,” Jimin handed a crumpled receipt to the nearest girl, “Sorry, that was the only paper we had on hand,” he apologized sheepishly.

“Sundown two days from now at the vacant warehouse huh? Sounds fine to me. Any rules?” you raised a brow at Jimin after reading the challenge aloud.

“I dunno. That’s all the boss discussed with us. Figured you two would make it up as you go. In terms of weapons, Jungkook prefers to use his hands,” Jimin answered.

“So practically no rules. I can roll with that. See you boys in two days,” you shooed the messenger away.

“Are you sure about this? You’re finally starting to recover--”

“Gear up. You’re gonna help me spar,” you interrupted Nayeon. You didn’t have any time to waste before the rematch.

~The Day of Reckoning~

Your girl gang surrounded the warehouse. They weren’t happy about leaving you alone, but they were ready to keep anyone else from interfering. You tapped your foot impatiently as you waited at the front.

“Is this heaven? There are angels as far as the eye can see!” one of the boys whistled as soon as they pulled up.

“I wouldn’t count on that, Tae. These gals would probably stab you in your sleep and steal your wallet or something. Not like you have any money in there anyway,” Jungkook teased.

The group of boys sauntered through the crowd of sneering women until Jungkook stood directly in front of you.

“Let’s settle this once and for all, you piece of shit. Loser skips town,” you asserted.

“Works for me. I’ll hate to see you go,” Jungkook’s tongue quickly darted to lick the corner of his mouth. The action was meant to be intimidating, but it stirred something inside of you. You tossed the feeling aside; he was the enemy. And you’re about to kick his ass.

The warehouse smelled like mold mixed with wet dogs. It was dark. The only light source was the sun’s rays that shone through cracks and holes in the walls or from the partly torn off ceiling. It was already dwindling. Jungkook loudly slammed the door behind him. You led him to the middle of the building, turning to face him before the fight could start.

“Hope you enjoyed your time here,” you taunted.

“We did. We like it here better than our own hometown. You sure you don’t wanna just let us take over? I won’t have to ruin that pretty face of yours,” Jungkook offered again.

“Fuck off Jeon,” you scoffed before throwing the first punch.

You found yourself locked in a repetitive pattern of offensive and defensive moves. Jungkook’s attacks felt heavier, but you moved even faster. It seemed like both of you had reserved your full strength last time.

Jungkook’s last punch knocked you off balance. He took the opportunity to knock you to the ground, effectively pinning you under him. He leaned close to your face and smiled maliciously down at you as he assumed that his victory was assured. He was wrong.

You banged your head against his with as much force as you could muster. In a flash, your positions had been switched. Jungkook groaned in agony under you as you tightened your hold on him.

“Surrender, or I’ll pulverize you,” you threatened.

“Let me tell you something first,” he wheezed.

You reluctantly moved closer to him, but were on guard just in case he tried to headbutt you.

“Closer,” he demanded.

“No fuck you--”

Jungkook used the last of his strength to repel his upper body towards you to plant a rough kiss on your lips. You looked at him in shock, releasing your grip. Jungkook placed his hand on the back of your neck and pulled you towards him, stopping you just centimeters in front of his lips.

“Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. I have a thing for strong women,” he whispered.

You lunged forward and knocked Jungkook flat on his back as you kissed him ferociously. The taste of blood was tinged with desire as the kiss deepened. No one could deny that Jungkook is a handsome boy. Seeing him all beaten up made him even more attractive to you, especially knowing that he’s tough enough to compete with you.

“You know, I thought you looked cute with a busted lip,” you said when you broke the kiss.

“I’d look even cuter if you busted on my lip,” he winked, “Ride my face, ___. Please,” he added.

“What? Right now? I’m all sweaty because we’ve been fighting and--”

“I don’t give a shit. Let me taste you. Unless you’re uncomfortable, of course,” Jungkook showed his decent side.

“In that case,” you say as you slide off your pants.

You kneel above Jungkook’s face, your clothed cunt hovering inches away from his open mouth.

“Come. Here,” Jungkook roughly pulled you down onto his mouth.

He licked wide stripes along your panties, soaking them with both his saliva and your arousal. Ripping the measly piece of material off, he dove nose first into your pussy. His tongue explored your folds, making you squirm. He placed a strong grip on your hips to hold you firmly in place. He moved his arm to let his hand rest right above your pussy.

Without warning, his thumb began to circle your swollen clit. You whimpered at his touch. The pace of his thumb synced up with his tongue as he shallowly dipped it into you. You could feel something ball up within you. No doubt your climax was on a one way express train pummeling towards its final stop. Destination: All over Jungkook’s face.

“Jeon I--I’m gonna” you shuddered.

“Lay it on me baby,” he said, muffled by your pussy.

A euphoric high took over your body a couple of intense seconds later. You were tingling from your nose down to your toes as you weakly dismounted Jungkook. He licked around his mouth, savoring your cum.

“I guess you’re right, you do look better after I busted all over your lips. And face. Sorry bout the mess,” you laughed.

“You could let me fuck you if you really wanna make it up to me,” Jungkook suggested as he palmed his groin.

“Do you fuck as well as you eat pussy?” you inquired as you sat beside him.

“Only one way to find out. You down?” he propped himself up by his elbows.

“Fuck me senseless, pretty boy,” you requested.

“Sure thing, except,” Jungkook pushed you onto your back, “I’m on top this time.”

Jungkook shimmied out of his pants, revealing his already hard dick. It wasn’t too girthy, but it was long. You had a feeling he’d hit all the right places with ease. You were still sopping wet, so Jungkook slid in without a problem. He took his time feeling every inch of you before finally bottoming out.

Jungkook began to fuck you harder, making your entire body shake with each impact. Your wanton moans mixed with his grunts as he snapped his hips faster. His hand snaked its way from your chest up to your neck. He placed a harsh grip on the sides and smiled down at you with satisfaction. Normally you’d enjoy this, but not today. Not with Jungkook.

A quick jab at his side prompted him to release you and nearly double over. Before he had the chance to cuss you out, you flipped him over, reclaiming your rightful place. You ease yourself back onto his cock, bringing him back to a blissful state.

You rode him like your life depended on it. Your hips had a mind of their own as they rocked back and forth. Jungkook groaned with pleasure as he rested his hands on your hips. You began to fuck him with a purpose, changing your pace.

“Whatcha doin?” he moaned.

“Spelling my name on your dick. Now it belongs to me,” you answered proudly.

“Oh fuck, is that so? Are we dating or some shit?”

“Shut up and we’ll figure it out post nut,” you hushed him.

You brought up your knees and squatted over him with your feet on the ground. You bounced up and down and let yourself get lost in the moment. Your carnal voices harmonized and echoed throughout the abandoned warehouse. The sun had finally set, now replaced by the pale moonlight.

“Baby keep going, just like that. I’m gonna cum. Wait fuck should we be using a con--uuuggghhhh,” Jungkook didn’t get to finish that sentence.

He exploded into you, his warm seed shooting up into you. You bent over to kiss him once more. What was meant to be a quick peck turned into a heated makeout session.

“Give me a little bit before I can fuck you again,” Jungkook said once the kiss broke.

“We have more pressing matters to address. Uh, what exactly should we do now? I don’t know if we can really declare a winner or a loser,” you pointed out.

“I’d say we were both winners today,” Jungkook nodded.

“Interesting…” you thought out loud.

“What?”

“Are you still open to combining forces? Only this time, we’d be on equal footing. We can make a stronger gang together,” you suggested.

“I don’t see why not. Everyone is outside anyway right? Let’s go break the news,” Jungkook agreed.

“We both look like shit. And we smell awful,” you observed.

“Eh, it happens. They gotta respect their leaders no matter what, right?” Jungkook shrugged.

Both Nayeon and Jimin fell into the warehouse as soon as you opened the door.

“We weren’t doing anything!” Nayeon said quickly.

“We were just wondering if one or both of you were dead, so we tried to see if we could hear you guys and…” Jimin couldn’t maintain eye contact with either of you.

You pushed them aside and walked out to face the delinquents that were eagerly awaiting the official verdict.

“Listen up dirtbags! Starting today, we will be combining forces. We are now one gang, and we’re gonna be the strongest gang this country has ever seen!” you announced.

“You hear that boys? We’ll be seeing these angels on the regular!” Jungkook chimed in.

“What the hell?!” was the resounding response as Jungkook grabbed you by the waist and locked his lips with yours.

#bts smut #jungkook smut #bangtanarmynet #btswritingcafe #jungkook angst #bts angst #bts fanfic #kpop fanfic #kpop angst #paralumanplaylist #jungkook x reader #bts x reader #ksmutclub

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mikauzoran · 4 years ago

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Lukadrien: Your Hands Hold Home: Chapter Seventeen

@lukadrien-june

Read it on AO3: Your Hands Hold Home: Chapter Seventeen: Broken Families

“Sup, G Flat,” Xavier-Yves greeted as he descended the stairs into the main cabin of the Liberty.

Adrien grimaced but mentally reminded himself to be nice for Luka’s sake.

“Hi, XY. Luka’s actually not here right now. He’s out with the Capitaine, and I don’t think they’ll be back soon,” he informed, hoping that that would be the end of his exposure to the popstar for the day.

XY shrugged, taking a seat on the opposite limb of the L-shaped couch from Adrien.

“That’s okay,” XY assured as he made himself comfortable, spreading out like a starfish and pulling his laptop out of his bag. “You probably don’t know this because you’re still pretty new here, but I have the okay to just kick it here whenever I want.”

Adrien nodded, internally cursing his lot in life. “I see. That’s cool.”

“Yeppers,” Xavier-Yves agreed, barely paying Adrien any mind as he started up his audio editing program.

Adrien set aside the book he’d borrowed from Luka, seeing that he wasn’t going to get any more reading done in XY’s presence.

“How long do you think you’ll hang out?” Adrien inquired, trying to sound interested rather than rude and impatient for Xavier-Yves to leave.

XY shrugged. “I dunno. Maybe a couple hours? Probably until this evening.”

Adrien mentally swore.

“I’m hiding from my dad,” XY added voluntarily.

Adrien frowned. “Why?”

XY clicked his tongue. “He’s trying to set me up with some actress. You know. For publicity and all that.”

Adrien shuddered. “My father made me do that a couple times. I’ve always hated that kind of thing.”

“Dude, I know!” XY exclaimed, looking up from his computer screen. “Sucks, right?!”

Adrien nodded. “I mean, some of the girls were okay, and I may have even been able to like one or two of them in earnest if we’d met more naturally and it had been our decision to date, but…those arrangements are so staged. I always resented them as just one more thing Father was making me do against my will and completely ignoring my wishes about.”

“Tch. Yeah,” Xavier-Yves scoffed. “Trust me. I hear you.”

Just as suddenly as the conversation started, it ended, and XY seemed to go back to his laptop.

Adrien gave his book a sidelong look, debating whether to take it up to the deck to continue reading in peace.

Before he could come to a decision, XY broke back into Adrien’s thoughts.

“…So…you’re bi or what?”

Adrien gave a start. “What?”

“You said you could have liked some of the girls your dad made you date,” XY explained, “but I always thought you had a thing for Luka…so are you bi or in denial or what?”

Adrien stared at his love rival for a moment, trying to determine whether he should be affronted by XY’s abrupt demands for personal information.

Xavier-Yves looked at Adrien expectantly with seemingly no malice or agenda hidden behind his words.

It was then that Adrien remembered what Luka had told him about XY’s penchant for coming across as rude due to his lack of normal socialization—something Adrien could, unfortunately, relate to.

Adrien decided to take XY’s question in good faith and answered, “I think I’m probably bi.”

XY cocked an eyebrow. “What do you mean you think you’re bi? Isn’t that something you just know?”

Adrien shifted uncomfortably under Xavier-Yves’s scrutiny. “I think it’s confusing because the media really only shows men and women ending up with one another, so that’s how I thought it had to be when I was growing up. I didn’t realize guys were actually an option until later, and I’ve mostly just been interested in girls so far. I mean, I can tell if a guy is attractive, but Luka’s the only guy I’ve ever been attracted to in practice, not just in theory.”

XY blinked several times, trying to parse Adrien’s response. “…So…you’re bi?”

“At least as far as Luka’s concerned,” Adrien confirmed with a shrug.

“You make my head hurt,” XY announced. “You’re just thinking about it too much.”

“Maybe,” Adrien chuckled, musing that XY might have accidentally stumbled upon the truth.

Xavier-Yves shook his head. “I’ve always known I was gay. I never even looked at girls as a kid.”

Adrien’s eyes widened. “I-I’m sorry. I always assumed you were bi. Well…after I found out about your feelings for Luka, anyway. Until then, I thought you were straight.”

XY rolled his eyes and waved dismissively. “That’s because my dad says I have to stay in the closet.”

Adrien’s jaw descended several centimeters. “He what?”

XY nodded, setting his laptop aside and angling more towards Adrien. “My dad says that gay doesn’t sell and that all of my fangirls will stop buying my music and coming to concerts if they find out I only like dudes, so I can’t tell anyone I’m gay.”

Adrien blinked dumbly, finding himself wondering if his own father would react similarly if he found out about Adrien being queer. A lot of people in fashion were, so maybe it wouldn’t be a big deal, but…somehow, Adrien got the feeling that Gabriel would probably prefer it if Adrien kept that fact to himself and found a nice female partner.

“…I’m sorry,” Adrien mumbled, suddenly seeing past the annoying, inconvenient aspects of XY to the very real person with problems and feelings and dreams underneath.

XY shrugged. “Is what it is. Just don’t you go tellin’ people.”

“I would never do that,” Adrien was quick to assure.

XY gave a snort as he nodded. “Good.”

“…So…you’re not allowed to date?” Adrien inquired, morbid curiosity getting the best of him.

XY shook his head. “Nah. Dad would flip. It’s okay, though. I’ve never been really into anyone before, so it was, like, whatever.”

Adrien’s eyebrow arched. “What about Luka? You seem pretty into him.”

“Luka’s different,” Xavier-Yves confirmed with a passionate punch to the words. “He’s the one, you know?”

Adrien dropped his gaze, wilting slightly because he knew that fact all too well.

“I’d come out, if he wanted me to,” XY continued. “I don’t know. Luka’s kind of quiet and private, so I don’t know if he’d want to make it all public, but he’d at least want to tell his friends who he was seeing, so it would get out there eventually. I wouldn’t care, though. He’s worth it.”

“You really care about him a lot,” Adrien whispered.

“You bet I do,” XY insisted. “You know how annoying and dumb I am.”

Adrien’s head jerked up at the blatant self-deprecation.

“Not a lot of people like me. A lot of people pretend to because they want something, but they don’t actually like me,” XY snorted.

Adrien suddenly felt a chill at hearing circumstances that so closely echoed his own.

“Luka didn’t like me at first, and he had a good excuse not to, but instead of telling me to get lost when I came to ask him to teach me about loving music, he put up with me,” XY recounted with a soft look of gratitude and affection in his placid blue eyes.

“He was really patient, and he taught me and helped me be a better person. My dad taught me a lot of bad things.” His eyes dropped to the floor as he confessed his past shortcomings. “I didn’t know they were bad until Luka told me so…so I owe him a lot. I’d do anything for him.”

Adrien nodded passively, averting his gaze as he wondered if Luka wouldn’t be better off with XY than himself.

Xavier-Yves could give Luka fortune and industry contacts, and while “Roth” wasn’t the most well-liked surname in Paris, it was worlds ahead of “Agreste” which had become synonymous with “dirt” a month previously when Papillon’s identity had been revealed.

Maybe Adrien should step aside romantically and focus on being a good, supportive friend to Luka.

“I’d do anything for him,” Xavier-Yves repeated solemnly, “…even if that meant bowing out and supporting his happiness with you.”

Adrien’s head jerked up again, and he gaped at XY in disbelief. “What?”

XY shrugged. “The most important thing is that Luka is happy, yeah?”

Adrien nodded, still not understanding. “Yes. Absolutely. But…what does that have to do with me?”

XY shook his head. “You’re important to him. We’re both really important to him. I can’t tell you how many times he’s asked me to try to play nice with you these past few weeks because he wants us both in his life, and he wants us all to get along.”

Adrien’s lips rounded into a small “o”.

XY nodded. “I want him to be happy. Even if you win, I want him to be happy, so I’m gonna try to be friends with you because it’s important to Luka.”

Adrien slowly began to nod. “Okay. I can’t promise I’ll ever really like you much, but I’m going to tolerate you for Luka’s sake. So, let’s make this work, okay?”

“Deal,” XY agreed with a wide grin, holding out his fist to Adrien for a fist bump.

Chuckling, Adrien leaned forward and touched his fist to XY’s.

“…So,” Xavier-Yves remarked after the moment had passed. “Wanna watch a movie or something?”

Adrien shrugged. “Sure. Why not?”

“How good’s your English?” XY asked, grabbing his laptop and opening up his video library.

“Not fluent, but I should be able to watch a movie without subtitles,” Adrien replied, moving to sit next to Xavier-Yves.

XY looked up at Adrien and tipped his head to the side. “You ever heard of Abbott and Costello?”

Adrien frowned, searching his memory banks. “…The comedy duo?”

XY nodded enthusiastically, a wide grin quickly spreading from one cheek to the other. “They’re super dope. You’ll love them. Let’s watch In Society. It’s got one of my favourite routines.”

“All right,” Adrien easily agreed, reasoning that he owed it to Luka and himself to make an effort. “Sounds good.”

A little over an hour later, Luka returned to find Adrien and Xavier-Yves in a pile on the couch, leaning on one another to keep themselves upright as they chortled, “He’s not dead, Lady! He’s hiding!”

“I see you showed him Abbott and Costello?” Luka remarked, announcing his presence.

XY pushed himself up to grin adoringly at Luka. “Yeah. We were just thinking about watching another. Wanna join us?”

“Sure,” Luka chuckled, coming around to their side of the couch.

Adrien scooted over to make room for Luka between himself and XY.

“After all, it’s not every day that two of my best friends are able to spend time together without wanting to kill one another. We should do something to celebrate,” Luka reasoned.

“We’re not that bad. We just…verbally snipe at each other sometimes,” Adrien giggled, quickly snuggling up to Luka at exactly the same moment XY wrapped his arm around Luka’s shoulders.

“Yeah,” XY seconded. “The only friend of yours I want to kill is that Jacob loser.”

Luka groaned, rolling his eyes.

Adrien lifted his head to look around Luka at Xavier-Yves. “Jacob?”

XY nodded. “That bassist in his band. He’s Luka’s ex.”

Adrien quirked an eyebrow. “We can’t be civil with Luka’s exes?”

XY’s eyes narrowed. “Jacob’s one of the four he slept with.”

“Oh,” Adrien replied flatly, his opinion abruptly changing.

“Yeah. Those ones are dead to me,” Xavier-Yves snorted.

“Can we not talk about my love life?” Luka sighed, tipping his head back to stare up at the ceiling. “It’s really not that interesting. Let’s watch the movie.”

XY clicked his tongue. “I beg to be different. I am super interested in the people you’ve slept with.”

“Prune,” Luka groaned. “Drop it. I’ve been the adult in this household since I was ten. I’m allowed to sleep with whomever my little demi heart loves.”

“Would you sleep with me?” XY wondered curiously.

Luka’s cheeks flushed as he pointedly avoided Xavier-Yves’s gaze. “No comment.”

“Would you sleep with him?” XY pressed, jabbing a finger at Adrien.

Luka choked on air, making a wheezing sound of distress.

“No comment,” he managed with some effort.

“How about a threesome?” Xavier-Yves suggested amicably.

Adrien burst out laughing, snuggling in closer.

“For the love of whatever you hold sacred, start the movie already before I strangle you,” Luka pleaded.

“I could be into that,” XY replied, waggling his eyebrows.

Luka threw his hands up in the air, exclaiming, “Aaaaah!”

This caused Adrien to laugh even harder.

XY joined in.

#Lukadrien #LuXY #Miraculous Ladybug #Adrien Agreste #Luka Couffaine #Xavier-Yves Roth #XY #Love Rivals #Fluff #Slow Burn #Friends to Lovers #Pining #Mutual Pining #Broken Families #Lukadrien June 2021 #Writing Prompts #Mikau's Writings #Your Hands Hold Home

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deathvsthemaiden · 4 years ago

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Prince Harry, Prince William, Waver Velvet, Diluc Ragnvindr, Jeremy Fragrence, and Childe (Ajax)....uwa I spelled Diluc's name right on the first go!

THE DISGUST THE VISCERAL DISGUST I AM FEELING AT EXACTLY HALF OF THESE.... ur too good and dependable I LOVE u *sniffles* 😔🤕

Harry:

Yikes full stop. Yikes. || I Don’t See The Appeal || Not My Type || He’s Alright || I See The Appeal But I’m Different™ || Cute But On Alternating Wednesdays || He Has A Kind Face And That’s Good Enough || Pretty || Gorgeous || I— I Love? || I Do Not Deserve How Could You Do This? Hmm? Et tu, Brutus? 😐

Ok listen being royalty esp modern royalty immediately cancels out any beauty god gave you in my eyes. All the poetry I wax about how there is something to appreciate in every face and body is null and void here. If we take the Some Guy approach and look at him objectively (impossible but I’ll humor you in the name of love and not being a spoilsport).... nothing I feel nothing. Maybe a whisper of contempt and a little voice in my head going “we should avoid him he’s not going to add to our life.” But that’s. IT.

William:

Yikes, I Don’t See The Appeal || Not My Type || He’s Alright || I See The Appeal But I’m Different™ || Cute But On Alternating Wednesdays || He Has A Kind Face And That’s Good Enough || Pretty || Gorgeous || I— I Love? We Don’t Deserve Him. II I’m Far Too Sane And Pretty For This?

*by this point I am shaking and crying from psychic damage* see above 👆🏽😐

Waver Velvet:

Yikes, I Don’t See The Appeal || Not My Type || He’s Alright || I See The Appeal But. I’m Different™ || Cute But On Alternating Wednesdays || He Has A Kind Face And That’s Good Enough || Pretty (I Suppose) Like If He Floats Your Boat Epic But I Might Not Attend The Wedding || Gorgeous || I— I Love? We Don’t Deserve Him.

his younger self awakens big sister instincts in me meaning he would be SO fun to tease and annoy + root for + naively hope he grows into a fine young man. At that young age he is not yet broken so there is no fixing to be done, but I certainly could help set him straight! Like a bonsai 💚 he’s more sinless and (unintentionally) funny and full of promise than his other selves.

His adult self however awakens the misandrist in me. I wanna come up to him unprovoked and tell him to smile or else bc that’s the only time he’s handsome imo.... also when he has vulnerable moments like being sad the shoes he bought with his first ever paycheck got ruined 🥺 or when he gets all triumphant and carefree ever so once in a while, like in the first ep of Case Files... what I mean is sometimes his prickly hard cranky veneer cracks and I catch a dazzling shimmer of handsome but... not often enough for my liking 😑 for my favored pixelated men I get a genuine kick out of their being disgruntled (sign of true love) but his grumbling just makes me want to file for divorce and we’re not even married 😐 like can you imagine road tripping with this man? I can’t I couldn’t I will not! And omg I don’t think you could make him say stuff like I love you without feeling like you’re pulling teeth... I don’t have the patience to reach that point with him. We’d be so bad for each other and not even in the fun way... his sharp way of dress and penchant for red and long hair and passion for certain subjects are just not enough to salvage him for me, if I want to be subjected to a short tempered man all day I have a father 😩 also he has the kind of sense of responsibility that would doom you if you married him I feel. Like admirable but also what the fuck dude. Taking on all of Kayneth’s debt w/o batting an eye? Mr Velvet what about your hypothetical wife and children.... like I can’t imagine him stopping to think about them in such a scenario... he’d have to marry someone like Melvin (or Melvin himself) who would get a kick out of that brash decision and support him and I’m the wrong dame! He feels like if he had a family and he grew into old age, he would end up one of those foreboding slightly frigid patriarchs w/ short fuses who have hearts of gold but you have to dig so long and hard that by the time you have reached it you’re youth has passed you by and your fingers are worn to the bone and you’re tired... so tired..... you should’ve listened to your mother and married that nice doctor within your ethnic group instead... he’s been a widower for a few years now, hasn’t he? Has a summer home in Vienna and a very nice curly beard? Last time you stalked his FB anyway....

Also his little friend Melvin is hilarious but I could never allow him into my home on the reg. I refuse. Reines is on thin ice and reminds me too much of my sister in some ways... Literally the only person he is oft surrounded by that I would not only be chill with but delighted to have over is Flatt Escardos. Love that wild little man, he’s a brilliant riot. But also a bit of a danger to himself and others I think? Idk I barely read FSF bc the niqabi character design pissed me off to hell and back and then some 😔💔

Diluc Ragnvindr:

Oh he’s pretty enough.... like def not an ugly man! But as you yourself often correctly say he’s just Some Guy! When you tell me why you love him I absolutely understand how he captivated you 🥺 but I personally am too wild of heart to be ensnared by so sober (ahaha get it? Bc he owns a tave— whatever nvm v_v)/ and stable a man.

Jeremy Fragrance:

Yikes, I Don’t See The Appeal || Not My Type || He’s Alright || I Could See The Objective Appeal If He Never Opened His Mouth But I’m Too Smart To Be Taken In By Some Conventionally Pretty Features And Some Muscle™ || Cute But On Alternating Wednesdays || He Has A Kind Face And That’s Good Enough || Pretty || Gorgeous || I— I Love? We Don’t Deserve Him.

I scroll past his vids fairly fast the same way I often scroll past spider pics that make it on to my dash despite my best efforts.... when I decide to watch his videos I regret it so much and can barely finish. The way he talks and acts and the things he Just Says sans hesitation make me so uncomfy... so performative and out of touch in the unfun way and aggressive... why isn’t he an actor why couldn’t he be named Jeremy Drama... then I could lie to myself and go it’s okayyy Hiba it isn’t real I’m sure he’s sane behind closed doors 😖 anyway I couldn’t willingly stay in the same room with him for 5 min I COULDNT! I’m v confident our priorities and moral compasses are polar opposites and have you heard the way he talks about women? 🤨 I would honestly. Prefer Patrick Bateman. Not even kidding bc at least that man isn’t real and has successfully made me laugh and gets Big Mad over the dumbest stuff so I can mock him before he kills me. Also I think I could outsmart Bateman but... what does one do with JF other than... keep ur distance. Like I’d never trust either BUT. Yeah.

Childe (Ajax):

HES ERRATIC.... IM ERRATIC.... CAN I MAKE IT ANY MORE OBVIOUSSSS<3 no but rlly I love a lively straightforward man and he’s got red in his character design + is often pictured with whales? And his galactic themed suit of armor is nice 😳 he’d be fun to hang out with and divorce on grounds so outrageous and absurd we both find it hilarious ✅ like I don’t think I’ll ever love love him esp since all my knowledge of him is second hand but he sounds like a blast 💥

#asks #long post #I had to invent so many new categories for this.... necessity rlly is the cruel stepmother of invention after all #waver is a cactus but I am no desert rose... I need more I hunger for more

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kogo-dogo · 4 years ago

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i like your skyrim stuff and i wanna know more about the funky little dudes you posted in those “sentences” lol. instead of asking for more snips

You have made a mistake. Prepare for an essay.

But, joking aside, they’re Morrowind characters. I do like Skyrim, but Morrowind is my favorite game of all time and the entire reason I got into the TES fandom years ago. I don’t talk about it much on here because everyone is here for Half-Life and HRV, but... you know what? I’mma take this opportunity. To yell.

About The Guys(tm).

So, basically, in my Personal Canon, I don’t just have a Nerevarine (i.e. Protagonist) character. I have an entire crew of people who help him get through things because it just seems... more realistic for my Extremely Flawed and Terrible Nerevarine. Also, I just had a lot of characters conjured up as a teenager and it was fun to evolve it over time so they’re all friends.

They are, as follows:

- Jo’Karsa (a.k.a. “Karsaga”). Battlemage born under the Atronach. Afflicted with Wombburn. Also the Nerevarine. He’s an abnormally large Cathay-raht who has had an unusual upbringing. He was originally an orphan plucked off the streets in Corinthe and trafficked to Morrowind where he was sold as a slave. As fate would have it, a houseman under his owner took a shine to him and stole him away when they fled to Cyrodiil to avoid political assassination. Karsaga has been raised Telvanni in Imperial territory so, despite being a mighty brute of a Khajiit, he has an extreme affinity for magic and an equally extreme disconnect from his Khajiiti roots.

He speaks like a Dunmer, carries himself like a Dunmer, and has very Telvanni sensibilities. He also has an extensive criminal record from his time spent as a bandit outside of Cheydinhal, and that is eventually how he ends up on the prison boat that sends him to Morrowind. He has a bunch of aliases and an unhealthy penchant for drink and smoke. Not a fan of skooma, though. As gruff and sarcastic as he is, he has a very silver tongue and a way of winning people over and talking himself out of trouble.

Also, “youth born under a certain sign?” Nah, this bitch is 34. And smells like a wet dog.

- Dasrazel. Altmer Nightblade and Quarra vampire. He contracted his vampiric curse while trying to save his lover from the clutches of an undead menace during the Second Era, after a life working various quasilegal oddjobs that brought shame on his noble family. In life, he was a likeable but lowkey individual, and in undeath he’s still very lowkey... but perhaps not as likeable. He has to take a low dose of a calming potion to keep the inherent, violent bloodlust of his Quarra curse at bay, and it does a lot to deaden his emotions. Combine that with hundreds of years to learn how to not give a fuck, and you have a very blunt, stoic, matter-of-fact creature who only very occasionally makes quips and usually just wants to be left alone.

He is Karsaga’s closest ally, right hand man, and platonic soulmate. They met after Karsaga robbed him blind at a bar (thinking him to just be some weird, frail elf), and Dasrazel took pity on him after Karsaga ran him through with an iron saber and panicked when it... did nothing. Their bond is one of a mutual distaste for most people and Dasrazel’s desire to have companionship again.

They’re very much bros, even if Dasrazel spends most of his time not understanding why Karsaga is the way he is.

- Neira Brenur. Dunmer Witchhunter and low-ranking member of House Redoran. She’s the daughter of a Camonna Tong member and an Ashlander woman, though her mother is dead and she spends a lot of time trying to distance herself from her racist father. She joined Redoran in hopes of atoning for the crime of just being born into a bad family, but has a really difficult time fitting in. She’s very meek and empathetic and does better in controlled duels than actual combat. The idea of actually hurting an opponent makes her sick to her stomach.

She kind of just happened to Karsaga one day, courtesy of him running afoul of her not-so-popular friend, Vandrith (we’ll get to that trainwreck later). She mainly acts as a translator for Vandrith and tries to play mediator when Karsaga starts getting too aggressive with others. She’s in good with some odd folks in Redoran and a very aggressive supporter of the Tribunal Temple, which makes it hard for her to wrap her mind around Karsaga’s existence as the Nerevarine.

Also, the fact she’s an absolute pushover means she just accepts the less-than-savory people Karsaga pals around with. She’s got a big heart and feels actual pity for his blasphemous, undead, and criminal friends. They’re good people on the inside (probably).

- Vandrith Valen. Dunmer Ordinator and conglomeration of a lot of factors coming together in the worst way possible. He is naturally “blessed by Azura” and has some degree of prophetic power, though he’s choked it down after a life of being raised Indoril. He also came to the unfortunate realization after being stationed on Vvardenfell, that he is also a descendant of House Dagoth and is haunted by the Poison Song, a “song” sent out by Dagoth Ur that warps the minds of those who are of his blood and turns them into Sleepers and Dreamers.

These two traits do not mesh well and make Vandrith more than a little unstable.

Vandrith is... prone to erratic behavior and violent outbursts and is largely under the care of his paternal uncle, Tuls Valen, the head priest of the Ald’ruhn Temple. Vandrith is also a clever and tricky bastard who has been trying to figure out how to discern Dagoth Ur’s plans from the Poison Song in order to prevent bad things from happening. Usually, he can keep things under control, but extremely bad visions, close proximity to items/places corrupted by House Dagoth, and stress can cause him to be difficult.

Beyond this, though, he’s not what you’d expect from an Ordinator. He’s very witty with a somewhat bawdy sense of humor, a very devil-may-care attitude, and he’s a huge fan of causing mischief. He forced his way into Karsaga’s social circle due to his absolute certainty that Karsaga could bring down Dagoth Ur, and Neira is his closest (and for a long time only) friend, who has figured out what all of his weird ramblings mean.

- Bashinga. Sorceress and Aundae vampire. She is an old acquaintance of Dasrazel’s who has ties to Telvanni, the Mage’s Guild, and several circles of warlocks and witches. She’s very much a self-serving sort, more interested in the acquisition of power than the wellbeing of Morrowind, but she is fiercely protective of the people she deems worthy (and she has a soft spot for Neira she can’t really explain).

Once upon a time, she was a dancer and performer with a traveling circus, and her fall into undeath and wizardry was a happy accident after being taken as cattle by rogue Aundae. She’s got a good set of vocal cords and can move with grace and ease, but she speaks very bitterly a lot of the time and is difficult to get along with.

She’s one of those people who Karsaga immediately took a shine to because they both like to sit around and bitch about people. Dasrazel and Bashinga mostly get along by the time-honored tradition of “two very gay individuals being catty at each other as a sign of affection, though outsiders would think they hate one another.”

- Jai Swift-Fly. Cathay assassin and member of the Morag Tong. She was born and raised in Elsweyr in a more tribal environment, and is an old friend of Vandrith’s (odd, considering they met because she took a grey writ to knock him off and, instead, he knocked her out). She mostly comes into the fold because Karsaga needed somebody to break into the Ministry of Truth to free Mehra Milo, and she came highly recommended (by Vandrith; Vandrith recommended her).

She’s a married mother of two, is big and strong and very proud of being big and strong, and a crack shot with a bow. She’s also deaf as hell and communicates through a series of homebrew gestures. Her decision to stick around and help Karsaga after completing the job she was hired to do stems primarily from her extreme curiosity. She has no stake in the Nerevarine Prophecy or this group of losers, but by god does she want to see what it looks like when a god dies.

Fun fact: Jai is dead by the events of Skyrim, but two of her descendants remain. Shevah and J’Rakka. They’re a brother-and-sister duo. Shevah is as much of a curious, troublemaking adventurer as her so-many-greats grandmother. J’Rakka is a werewolf who mostly hunts bounties to make a living.

- Dravyn Telvayn (no picture of him, sorry D:). Dunmer assassin and member of the Morag Tong. Former highwayman and current Berne vampire. Husband of Jai and perpetually confused, mainly over the fact he has kids with Jai and... well, every book he’s read has indicated that that should be impossible for a variety of reasons. He lives in the sewers of the Arena canton in Vivec City and is allowed work in the Morag Tong due to his efficacy at eliminating very high risk targets, though he’s basically “on his own” if he ever gets caught. They’re sure as fuck not giving him writs of execution to present to guards when the Tong could end up fucked over if their relationship with a vampire gets out.

He’s mostly in the background and tags along due to his extreme dedication to Jai. He doesn’t get along with hardly anyone but her, though he is the one who coined the term “Council of Accidents” in relation to him, Dasrazel, and Bashinga. He feels a loose kinship with them in that they’re all members of different vampire clans, but all members whose sires want nothing to do with them, rendering them outcasts. Even after the events of Morrowind, he keeps in infrequent contact with the others.

After Jai’s death, he acts as a weird “ancestral guardian” to his own descendants. As of the time of Skyrim, he spends most of his time trying to keep Shevah from getting killed. He is very tired. She is a lot.

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365daysofsasuhina · 4 years ago

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[ @sasuhinabigflash2020 || Day Five: Something You Heard a Friend Say ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata ] [ SasuHina ] [ Verse: A Light Amongst Shadows ] [ AO3 Link ]

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Rumors were quick to spread through the Academy like wildfire. Though scarcely through their first week of classes, the newest group of shinobi-to-be were already settling into new friendships, new rivalries, and new crushes...which meant speculation and assumptions abounded.

Admittedly, Hinata had yet to do...any of those things. Withdrawn and quiet, none of the other girls had bothered with her yet. Nor was she exactly decent material for a rival, given her lack of confidence or real skil. And as for crushes...well, one boy had caught her eye, but apparently she was in the minority.

While he hadn’t been as completely isolated as she was growing up, Uchiha Sasuke was still a relative unknown to most of the other children. Being part of a clan - especially one considered to be one of the four “royal” clans - typically meant socializing far more with your kin than outsiders. It was simply how most operated, though to differing levels of severity. Hinata, for example, had only met a few other up-and-coming heirs of other clans, and briefly.

Sasuke was one of them.

According to her father, they had distant shared roots, the Uchiha and the Hyūga. So out of the other children she’d seen - those like Yamanaka Ino, Aburame Shino, among others - he’d been the most frequent. But even then, meetings between them were rare. Hyūga were simply withdrawn as a clan.

Hinata would later learn this was both out of secrecy, and a thinly-veiled feeling of superiority compared to other clans.

Hence her lack of surprise at seeing him again in their Academy class. She was already a bit...desensitized to him.

But for most of the other girls, especially those without clans, it was their first glimpse of the younger Uchiha heir.

And that meant quite a few of them immediately falling for his well-bred appearance.

While Hinata was in no way opposed to Sasuke in their youth, she just didn’t latch onto him like so many others seemed to. Whether it was that familiarity taking away whatever edge entranced the rest, or some other reason, she wasn’t sure.

But when the rumor began that he had a penchant for girls with longer hair, it just...didn’t phase her the way it did others. Most girls her age had short hair to begin with anyway. Hinata had her hime cut that she liked just fine. It was technically her father’s doing - something about a traditional style for young Hyūga girls. In truth she didn’t much mind what she looked like. But as time passed in the Academy, more and more girls let their hair grow longer, while Hinata - partially out of deference to her father, and partially out of a lack of caring much in the first place - kept her same old style, which led to the assumption she wanted nothing to do with him.

But then that fateful day arrived when the genin teams for their year were announced...and Hinata found herself assigned Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke as teammates.

Needless to say, she was taken aback. Partially due to her long-standing crush on the former, and her complete lack of exactly that with the latter.

And sadly...it resulted in more than one angry girl from their year. While she wasn’t exactly what she would call friends with any of them...the sudden shift in attitude from apathetic to antagonistic took her completely by surprise.

“I still can’t believe she’s on a team with Sasuke-kun…”

“Ugh, I know! It’s so unfair! I mean look at her - she clearly doesn’t care about him like I do!”

“Or me!”

“Her hair’s even still short. How long have I grown mine out to get his attention, and now this! It’s almost insulting!”

Hinata did her best to ignore them, pretending she didn’t hear the biting words and accusations. She didn’t even want Sasuke’s attention…! And now suddenly every mouth in their year was saying the same thing:

What a waste.

It echoed sentiments she heard so often at home - while differently rooted, still bearing the same message. And that proved to be harder to bear than she’d initially thought.

She’d even gone to Iruka to ask for a new assignment. Even if that meant giving up her being Naruto’s teammate.

But the decision was final. Barring something catastrophic, nothing could change the team assignments.

She was stuck with them.

So...Hinata was left with no other option. Grit her teeth, and bear it.

But that didn’t make it any easier.

A final straw was reached a day after training. Sakura and Ino had caught sight of her on her way home, and in what was clearly meant to be heard words, hashed over the same tired accusations.

And Hinata found she just didn’t have the energy to keep up her walls. Not after an entire session of hard work and the exhaustion it brought. Instead, everything they said slipped right past her armor, and nailed her in the heart.

Tears springing to her eyes, she’d sprinted past them, not caring where she was going so long as it was away from them.

And eventually she found herself slowing to a stop in one of the village’s park-like gardens. Still visibly upset and wanting to disappear, she curled up at the base of a tree and buried her face in her arms, as if she could truly vanish if she just made herself small enough.

But for better or worse, her plan failed...and she found herself discovered.

“Hyūga.”

For a moment she didn’t move, but then pale eyes peered up at her companion: none other than Sasuke himself.

“What are you doing out here?”

She almost considered ignoring him, but...well, he hadn’t done anything wrong. Taking out her temper on him - even in such a quiet way - wasn’t fair. “...I just...w-wanted to be alone,” was her lackluster explanation.

“You look like you’ve been crying.”

To that, she had no retort.

“Did someone hurt you?”

The question took her by surprise. What did he care? “...no…”

“Then why are you crying?”

The blunt inquiries saw a tiny spike in her temper. “It...it doesn’t matter.”

“Of course it does. It made you cry. That means it matters enough to do that much.”

...he was making too much sense. Wiping at her cheeks with a sleeve, she considered how much to say, and how much to leave out. “...people have...been saying untrue things about...a-about me.”

“Like what?”

She sighed. “...Sasuke-kun, why...why do you care?”

“Because you’re my teammate,” was his simple response. “If something’s bothering you, it’s going to affect our team.”

Her gaze flickered over his face, feeling like that wasn’t the complete truth, but having no evidence to the contrary. “...some of the other girls were...a-angry I was picked to be your teammate.”

“Tch. Jealousy.”

The term made her stomach squirm. “...it’s like they...they think that I s-stole you from them. But I didn’t pick you as a teammate. N-none of us got to choose. So why take it out on me…?” Her tone began to break, eyes stinging once more as she fought the feeling.

“Because that’s the easiest way to take out their frustration. Which is cowardly. You had nothing to do with the team arrangements. Neither did I, or any of them. But they let their jealousy turn them into nasty brats. Don’t worry about it, Hinata.”

“I...I don’t, but…”

“But what?”

...okay, this was getting awfully close to something she did not want to talk about. “...it’s just been a constant...this whole time. I’ve been t-trying to ignore it. And it worked for a while. I just…” A shaking breath escaped her. “...I’m tired today. I-I let it slip.”

His eyes flickered over her, clearly as unconvinced she’s being truthful as she’d been over his earlier claim, but just as unwilling to call it out. “...I’ll talk to them about it.”

“B-but -?!”

“If they won’t listen to you, then I’ll just have to take care of it myself. I can’t have a teammate being harassed and losing their grip.” Looking out to one side, it was clear he was trying to appear nonchalant. “Surely that’ll put a stop to it.”

Looking to him in obvious surprise - she never expected him to go that far for her sake - Hinata just...nodded slowly. What else was there to say?

“I’ve faced my share of rumors, good and bad,” he then murmured, surprising her further. “I know how bad it can get. Best we stomp this one out before it gets any bigger. If anyone else gives you crap...let me know.”

Brow wilting in lingering confusion, she simply replied, “O...okay.”

“So, who was it this time?”

“Er, um…”

“Out with it, Hyūga,” he demanded, but not unkindly.

“...Sakura-chan and...I-Ino-chan.”

“Tch, should have known. At least they’re big enough gossipers it shouldn’t take long for word to get around. If not...we’ll have to have another talk.”

With that, he simply turned and made to leave, and Hinata watched him go. By then she knew there was no convincing him otherwise, and...while she didn’t want to turn the situation into some dramatic affair or get the girls in trouble, she couldn’t help but hope it would stop - or at least lighten - the verbal abuse she’d been getting.

Left alone with her thoughts, Hinata stewed in them for a time before hauling herself to her feet. By then, the sting of their taunting had faded. And it was getting late. Break her curfew, and Hiashi would be even harder to deal with.

Otherwise...she’d just have to wait to see if Sasuke’s stern words would have any effect. The offer still left her feeling...uncertain. While he hadn’t been at all aggressive or dismissive of her, they were far from being friends. Him going so far out of his way seemed odd.

And yet something told her his unfeeling reason for doing so wasn’t the entire story.

But, she couldn’t really give any other evidence to the contrary, so...time would have to tell. Perhaps the Uchiha boy wasn’t as withdrawn as he made himself out to be. Mulling that over, Hinata gave a little shrug and began the walk home.

She could puzzle it out more in the morning.

Okay so this is technically related to an idea I started during my year-long challenge, but...given it’s mostly just a concept and not really an established story, I figure that’s passable xD Aka, my team seven!Hinata verse, which I’m sure has been done before. So this isn’t...quite accurate to the prompt since the rumors aren’t really from either of their “friends”, but...it’s late and I’m out of time and ideas so pretend it’s a sarcastic friends instead lol I think what I love most about this concept is that it flips a bit dynamic of OG team seven on its head: rather than the girl wanting Sasuke, she wants Naruto...which I think opens up a lot of interesting possibilities that I...do not have time for in this drabble xD And I’m not sure I’ll ever fully flesh out this idea since...it would likely involve a LOT of canon bending and that sounds exhausting bahaha~ ANYWHO I need to get to bed, I had a long day full of toothaches, so...I’m gonna go crash. Thanks as always for reading! <3

#sasuhinabigflash2020 #shbf2020 #sasuhina #uchiha sasuke #hyūga hinata #a light amongst shadows [ canon verse ]

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randomisthefandom · 6 years ago

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a list of my favorite funny shadowhunter chronicles quotes:

it’s the mortal cup jace, not the mortal toilet bowl.

“how was the seelie queen?” “same as usual.” “raging bitch, then?” “pretty much”

no, i’m a very naughty boy. i do all sorts of bad things. i kick kittens. i make rude gestures at nuns.

“what’s this?” “it’s a girl, alec. your sister isabelle is one.”

the clave has the collective intelligence of a pineapple.

i thought i’d lie on the floor and writhe in pain for awhile. it relaxes me.

that’s simon lewis, and he is my boyfriend. so if any of you think about trying to hurt him because he's a mundie or--may the angel have mercy on your soul--pursuing him romantically, i will come after you, i will hunt you down and i will crush you to powder.

i was going to watch project runway. it’s on next

never trust a duck.

nobody calls me ‘blondie’ and keeps their kneecaps.

meanwhile, i wanted to tell you that lately i’ve been cross-dressing. also, i’m sleeping with your mom. i thought you should know.

speaking of hope, did you see that shot alec got off with his bow? that’s my boyfriend.

i think she asked if she could touch my mango.

i was alive when the dead sea was just a lake that was feeling rather poorly.

usually i’m remarkably good natured. try me on a day that doesn’t end in y.

a warlock who looks like a gay sonic the hedge hog and dresses like the child catcher from chitty chitty bang bang.

hot faerie threesome. i can say i knew you when.

i’m pure at heart. it repels the dirt.

“and i don't know how to be smooth, sexy vampire simon for you, either!" “you were never that smooth, simon.”

not necessarily. i turn myself down occasionally just to keep it interesting.

it isn’t against the law to be an idiot.

first candy and flowers, then the apology letters, then the ravenous demon hoards- all in one day.

demon pox, oh demon pox. just how is it acquired? one must go down to the bad part of town until one is very tired. demon pox, oh demon pox, i had it all along—not the pox, you foolish blocks, i mean this very song— for i was right, and you were wrong!

"a...lord montgomery? you dated a member of the nobility? how am I ever going to compete with that?" "you’re lord montgomery, simon!”

“‘will. do you care more about the plan being enacted or about getting credit for it?” “that. the second one.”

i am a man and men do not consume pink beverages.

oh, i’m sorry. is there a different highway you’d like to die on? because we can arrange that.

the meek may inherit the earth, but at the moment it belongs to the conceited like me.

but he hurt jules, so when we track him down, i am going to chop him up and feed him to my fish. well, i’m going to buy some. i’m going to buy goldfish and feed them blood until they acquire a taste for human flesh.

when i first arrived in london, i so quickly tired of being surrounded by so many people that it was only with great difficulty that i refrained from seizing the next unfortunate who crossed my path and committing violent acts upon their person.

i see you have decided to follow in the long herondale tradition of poor decision-making.

“so you just came here to torture me and talk about yourself?” “oh, simon, simon, simon. you may not remember, but that's kind of our thing.”

i’ve heard the word ‘fear’, i simply choose to believe it doesn’t apply to me.

“i’m trying to figure out how someone could live in a brothel for a month and not notice. you must be terribly dull-witted. if it helps at all, it seemed to be quite a high-class establishment. nicely furnished, fairly clean...” “sounds as if you've visited your fair share of brothels. making a study of them?” “more of a hobby.’”

“jesus!” “actually, it’s just me, although i’ve been told the resemblance is startling.”

nice, bah. he’s gorgeous. you should leave him here. i could hang hats on him and things.

that’s why when major bad asses greet each other in movies, they don’t say anything, they just nod. the nod means ‘I am a badass and I recognize that you, too, are a badass’, but they don’t say anything because they’re wolverine and magneto and it would mess up their vibe to explain.

i’m a werewolf not a golden retriever.

i’ll crash the wedding. i’ll jump out of the cake, but not in a sexy way. like, with grenades

did you ever think that in a past life alec was an old woman with ninety cats who was always yelling at the neighborhood kids to get off her lawn? because i do.

“have you got a spider anywhere?” “why would i have a spider? do i look like someone who would collect them?” “no offense, but you kind of do.”

unfortunately, we are all out of bitter revenge at the moment. so it’s either tea or nothing.

“i’m not gay. i’m not straight. i’m not interested.” “your sexuality is ‘not interested’?” “that’s right.”

just kissing? how quickly you dismiss our love.

you had to make a crazy jail friend didn’t you? you couldn’t just count ceiling tiles or tame a pet mouse like normal prisoners do?

just coffee. black like my soul.

magnus did not have enormous respect for the law, but if he was breaking it he wanted to look good doing it.

i don’t want to grow up, i want to be an angst ridden teenager who can’t confront his own inner demons and takes it out verbally on other people instead.

“magnus, you were trying to flirt with your own plate.” “i’m a very open-minded sort of fellow!” “ragnor is not. when he found out that you were feeding us guinea pigs, he hit you over the head with your plate. it broke.” “so ended our love. ah, well. It would never have worked between me and the plate anyway.”

“when will says 'enterprising', he means 'morally deficient.” “no, I mean enterprising. when i mean morally deficient, i say, ‘now that's something i would have done.’”

never believe the bad guy is dead until you see a body. that just leads to unhappiness and surprise ambushes.

“i promise to charm the dickens out of him. i shall charm him with such force that when i am done, he will be left lying limply on the ground, trying to remember his own name.” “the man's eighty-nine. he may well have the problem anyway.”

i thought: classic jace. never makes a mess when a catastrophe will do.

“that’s not the spirit of the law, emma. remember? ‘the law is hard, but it is the law’” “i thought it was ‘the law is annoying, but it is also flexible.’”

“a little girl robbed you?” “actually she wasn’t a little girl at all, as it turns out, but a midget in a dress with a penchant for violence, who goes by the name of six-fingered nigel.”

“goodness. if you keep seeing six-fingered nigel like this, he'll expect you to declare your intentions."

you told us to leave you in the desert, because you planned to start a new life as a cactus.

your pretense does not fool me, gnome. my eye will be upon you.

of course, for a badass warrior, jace is kind of prissy.

good proverb. however, like most proverbs, it sounds wise and yet does not actually clarify anything.

let me just follow up by describing what a big mistake you would be making if you broke up with alec. the lightwoods are seriously hot people. some people say the herondales used to be hot, but think about it-not only do we outnumber them, but we took their last hottie and we made him ours. obviously, we won the victory.

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sign-from-god-complex · 5 years ago

Note

"All I do is drink coffee and say bad words" with queerplatonic analogical? Thanks! I really love your writing!

thank you, hon!!!! 😄💜

general tag list: @mutechild @super-magical-wizard @shadowsfromthesun (if you want to be tagged specifically in these drabbles just let me know!!!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Virgil lay on his back on the bed in the dim light of the evening, eyes swirling patterns onto the ceiling. He could hear Logan’s breathing beside him, slow and steady and calm and keeping him from floating away.

His phone lay discarded on the bed alongside him, occasionally buzzing with notifications from group chats he didn’t really feel like a part of; he’d been scrolling through it at one point but his thoughts had quickly overwhelmed him and he’d put it away, aware he wasn’t really absorbing any of what was being said anymore. They didn’t need him there; they wouldn’t notice if he was suddenl-

“V?” Logan’s voice pierced through the quiet that had settled between them, disrupting Virgil’s thoughts. “Are you… alright?”

Cutting his gaze over to his qpp next to him, Virgil noticed Logan had sat up and was looking at him with a level of concern Virgil wasn’t sure he deserved. He let out a sigh.

“Why do people like me?” The words came tumbling out of his mouth like he’d been holding them back for years—and maybe he had, he wasn’t sure. “All I do is drink coffee and say bad words. Hardly the basis for a wonderful friendship.”

Logan furrowed his brow, his mouth twisted. “Virgil, give yourself more credit. If anyone in our circle could be described as ‘only drinking coffee and saying bad words’ it would be Remy, but even they have more depth to them than that.”

Virgil huffed out a laugh, catching Logan’s face break out into a small smile before he continued.

“A personality is a difficult thing to comprehend as, though parts of it are fairly stable, the majority of it is based purely on your actions and how others perceive them. But it is not fair to you to claim drinking coffee and saying bad words is the entire basis of your personality.

“Virgil, you are unshakeably loyal and extremely protective. You prioritise the wellbeing and safety of your friends above almost everything else and when it comes down to it, you are willing to put them before yourself and take the fall for their actions if you deem it necessary. You’re… ride or die, I believe is the phrase. That is the sign of a good friend.

“And stemming from that loyalty comes a sense of trustworthiness. Unlike Patton or Roman, whose excitement and tendency to speak before they think would result in any secret being blurted out ahead of its time—or even myself, whose penchant for rule-following makes some of the other less likely to trust me—your friends know they can count on you. You likely have been told a myriad of secrets that I couldn’t dream of being privy to and some of those secrets may never see the light of day. Simply because you were told never to tell anyone. That is the sign of a good friend.

“And you are caring. Though Patton may be considered the ‘Dad friend’ of the group—condoning sweets before bed among other such reckless actions—you could certainly be considered the ‘Mom friend’. Though the decisions you make may sometimes seem harsh, it’s always for the benefit of those close to you. You’re always making sure everyone is alright and they notice and try to return the favour at every turn—truly, you would not believe the number of times I got the shovel talk when we first got together. That is the sign of a good friend.

“Darling, there are so many nice and wonderful things that I could say about you. So the answer to your question, Virgil, is simple. People love you because you have proven time and time again how worthy you are of being loved, by being nothing more than yourself.”

A comfortable silence settled over the pair as Virgil blinked back his tears, Logan taking up residence beside him again, his head placed against Virgil’s chest. He carded his hand through Logan’s hair, an instinctive action that had Logan giving a contented sigh.

“Thank you,” Virgil murmured into the quiet, the word coming out as barely more than a breath. Logan looked up at him—a soft, loving smile resting on his face.

“Anytime, my dear. Anytime.”

#sanders sides #sanders sides fic #logan sanders #virgil sanders #analogical #queerplatonic analogical #lo can write #1500 milestone #anonymous #ask lo

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jimjimcherie · 5 years ago

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My Illumi Zoldyck Headcanons

Once again, because I accidentally deleted my post, and now I have to rewrite it from memory alone.

If you don't sympathize with dear Illumi, then you probably shouldn't read this because this is about to be me being soft, sad, and protective as fuck over my babie Illu.

So... these are headcanons that have been building up since I started Hunter x Hunter 14 years ago, back when I was 9 and I had the biggest crush on Illumi and Hisoka (yes, they creeped me out, but I still had a big phat crush).

I've been watching HxH reactions the past two months and I don't understand how people feel so bad for Killua and Alluka for what they went through but don't realize the other children went through the same, and how Illumi probably went through worse to turn out like he is. I refuse to believe Illumi was born as a perfect, obedient, murder doll.

So what I believe in:

• Illumi was heir for, at least, 10 years until Killua was born and Zeno and Silva saw more Zoldyck in a newborn baby than in sweet Illumi, who had too much Meteor City slums in his blood. I refuse to believe that Killua was chosen as heir solely on "potential" alone, what kind of potential does a baby have? Illumi was too dark for Zeno's taste.

• Dear Illumi was an only child for five years until Milluki was born. He had no one to comfort him, no brothers to rely on. He was basically a test child for Zeno and Silva, Kikyo probably didn't have much say on Illumi's upbringing. He was tortured, beaten, and punished until all was left was a perfect submissive and obedient murder doll.

• How many childish things were denied to him? Were his soft toys taken from him when he was dropped in Heaven's Arena and Milluki was born? Did he come back to a bedroom that was as alien as the new toddler in the house? Did he miss his plushies and his baby blanket? Did he come to a room that suddenly was bigger than him? Was all the softness taken from Illumi, and instead given heaviness in return? Was he smacked for crying? Did Silva break every bone in his little fingers when he tried to hold hands after he turned six?

• Did the butlers ever try to help Illumi like they did Killua? Did they turn a blind eye to the quiet child with the big black eyes? Was Tsubone's dislike for Kikyo-sama so great that it extended to lonely, sweet Ilumi who resembled his mother with his dark hair and dark eyes? Did she see so much Meteor Slums in him that she decided he wasn't worth more than trash? Did she ignore him when sweet Illumi's lip trembled and his eyes shone like onyx with unshed tears because it was better for him to "cry it out", or did she go to Silva to inform him, until all the tears were beaten out of Illumi again and again until he learnt to jam needles into the back of his head so he couldn't feel anything anymore?

• Ten years old Illumi who would play with five years old Milluki, who would look at him warmly and would make Illumi's lips twitch into what he no longer remembered was a smile. Illumi who snuck candies and snacks that weren't even poisoned to Millu after his training, who would get him soft toys, and games to play with, until Silva decided Illumi was too soft and spoiling Milluki too much and made him take over Milluki's torture training. Milluki who loved his "kind aniki" even after he stopped bringing him treats, even when he would whip him because Illumi came back bruised like a plum the first time he ever refused to do something. Illumi who later on gave Killua chocobos, and brought dolls and makeup for Kalluto who had a penchant for girls things, because no one had ever thought of bending the rules for Illumi even if they all did for his brothers.

• Did he go through training none of the other children went through? Was he forced through "seduction training" at the tender age of thirteen? Small, delicate Illumi with bite marks on his small neck and rope burn on his wrists, did Silva think it was too much after Illumi was so averse to touch and his eyes were so blank they seemed to swallow all the light? Did Kikyo say no more, not the other children, Illumi is the only one I will give to you to break? Did they ever notice the way Illumi's mind would wander, leaving behind a corpse? Illumi, so eager-to-please and wanting so bad to be loved by a father that didn't like him, that he would ask for seconds when he slapped him, that would press his forehead to the ground in forgiveness when he killed one of his special tutors before they even touched him?

• Illumi who is half out of his mind with fear all the time because which punishment will it be this time? What did his brothers do now, that Illumi has to take the blame for? What transgression did Illumi make this time? What will Kikyo take offense at now that the only thing that will calm her is raking her talons through her eldest's skin? Illumi takes job after job after job, because he loves his family so much but Kukuroo mountain is the setting to almost all his nightmares. Illumi who is so terrified because he takes punishment for mistakes he didn't even commit that he does not allow space for imperfection in his brothers because he doesn't want them to be punished too.

• Illumi, age fourteen, not even blinking as he was told he was no longer heir, Killua age four grabbing at his mother's skirt as his aniki bowed at his father's feet apologizing for not being good enough. Illumi understood the decision, he was not special, he could tell, no one had ever bothered with him as a child, the butlers never bent the rules for him like they did for Killua, his parents were not lenient with him like they were with Killua, and grandfather Zeno did not spoil. Illumi wasn't even jealous, he understood he was not special, he had been a weird, stupid, and ugly child, he wouldn't have looked at himself either. So he takes care and loves Killua over anything else because that's what he was told to do. That was his new purpose.

• He's fifteen and at a job when he meets Hisoka Morow. Illumi doesn't know it yet, but the man with golden eyes is the only one that will go back for him always, even when he doesn't ask, even when he doesn't want him to, Illumi can't have friends but he wishes for Hisoka, wishes he could have him.

• Sweet Illumi at age eighteen breaks under Hisoka in a way he has never done before, breaks in a way so vulnerable, so soft, he cries through it, and god, Illumi has never felt this loved before.

• Illumi is twenty two and coming back to the mansion on Kukuroo mountain after a job when he's informed Killua ran away. It's not fair, Illumi thinks. It's not fair because now it's Illumi who's being punished for his selfish little brother. Milluki is angry, Killua stabbed him, and didn't even think of the consequences of his actions, Killua never does. Killua never saw how bruised and bleeding Illumi came back every time any of them broke a rule.

• Illumi brings Killua back but Gon comes back for Killua, and Killua comes back for Alluka.

• Illumi is twenty three finishing a job with Kalluto when their youngest informs him he's not going back with him. Illumi feels rage and betrayal, another selfish little brother. Another one he doesn't fight because Illumi isn't skilled enough not to kill him. Kalluto leaves and Illumi is terrified, because he failed to bring back another of his mother's sons, and the punishment won't be pretty, slaps will not suffice this time.

• Illumi never thought leaving was an option, and it's not fair, because no one ever came back for him, or Milluki, or Kalluto, but at least their youngest was smart enough to leave and join the Ryodan, who would never let anyone come for their youngest spider. Illumi who came back time and time again to this awful house because he loved his family and wanted to keep everyone together. None of his brothers had loved Illumi enough to notice he was as afraid and lonely as all of them.

• Illumi is twenty four when he leaves the horrible mansion on Kukuroo Mountain to live with Hisoka Morow, who loves him. His mother cries, his father doesn't care, Zeno is happy as long as Kikyo is upset, and Milluki... Milluki is internally grateful the clown dared to take the eldest Zoldyck away.

And one of my favorite headcanons:

• Hisoka Morow, Glam Gas city born, a nobody magician with a taste for violence and blood, met Illumi Zoldyck at nineteen years old and knew he had to keep the fifteen year old murder doll. He knew at first glance there was no one more beautiful, and no one worth more than dear, sweet Illumi. Hisoka would keep his sweetheart even if he had to fight all the Zoldycks and their butlers, he would even kill them all, if Illumi didn't love them. It took Hisoka almost a decade to take him away from the dreadful house with eyes on the walls and torture chambers, but they both found a love so great it made all the suffering worth it.

So these were my headcanons that were only reinforced by okayantigone on AO3. Her fanfics are masterpieces, and I wish they got way more attention that they have. I recommend my absolute favorites HisoIllu stories: children running through, asbestos in the walls, the home that awaits you, and yesterday's cherry pits. Three of those are Illumi centric and one is Hisoka centrict.

Hope you like my post ♡

⭐のへの💧

#illumi zoldyck #hisoka morow #hunter x hunter #hxh #kalluto zoldyck #milluki zoldyck #alluka zoldyck #killua zoldyck #hxh illumi #hxh hisoka #gon freecs #illumi centric #hisoillu #hisollumi #hisoillu is canon #hisoillu trash never dies

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lurafita · 5 years ago

Text

SIM Tony x Peter, part two

I’ll warn you all upfront, I haven’t gotten any better at writing smut, and this chapter has zero. Actually, this chapter doesn’t even have Peter in it. It’s just a lot of introspection into Tony’s character and how I envision he could slowly slip into SIM-mode. You will likely find this pretty boring.

If you are still willing to read, however, THANK YOU VERY MUCH AND I HOPE YOU LIKE IT!

Read the first part here: part 1

SIM Tony x Peter, part 2

He had drunken himself into a stupor after Peter had left first the living room, and then the tower.

Alcohol had always been one of his vices, and admittedly not the greatest coping mechanism. However, no matter how truly stupid, and sometimes even abhorrent, he behaved under its influence, the morning after often brought with it a new insight and understanding for his problems.

As well as a headache. Jesus!

“Jarvis, hangover protocol.” He rasped at the ceiling.

The A.I. complied immediately with the demand, lowering the shutters on every window to dim the natural light in the penthouse, and started the coffee maker in the kitchen.

“You should find some Tylenol in your bedside drawer, Sir.”

Tony blindly grabbed for the bottle after prying the drawer open, and swallowed two pills dry.

“Should I order you breakfast, or would you prefer to further endanger your health by ignoring your basic bodily needs, as usual?”

The billionaire let out a long and tormented groan as he got up from his bed (for which he mentally patted himself on the back. It wasn't often that his intoxicated mind managed to get his drunk ass into an actual bed, before he passed out)

“Remind me to program the sass out of you later, J.”

He wouldn't

“Certainly, Sir.”

Tony slowly made his way across the room, already able to smell the godly brew that was coffee.

“And that's a no for breakfast. But remind me in a few hours to order something hearty from that one restaurant I like. I'm starting on a new project, and I probably shouldn't 'endanger my health' – as you put it – too much before I get to finish it.”

The coffee was too hot and too strong and exactly what the genius needed right then.

“A new project, Sir? Does this have anything to do with Mr. Parker's visit and subsequent departure yesterday? I should caution you on making any rash decisions. Research shows that people are very susceptible to such upon experiencing rejection.”

Tony winced at that, but blamed it on the temperature of the coffee.

“Okay, J, one: we are not calling it a rejection. Peter loves me, he is just too worried that something might happen to me, if we started a relationship. That's not rejection; that's fear. Two: while this may seem rash, my new project is possibly one of the sanest, safest, and best decisions I have made in my life.”

Which Tony actually believed to be true.

No matter how much he wanted to be angry at Peter for the younger man's unwillingness to take that step with Tony, he couldn't.

Peter's rejection (god how he hated that word) might have been a fear based response, but it wasn't a groundless one. Everything Peter had said last night was the truth.

His enemies were deranged and obsessed with making Spiderman suffer.

Tony was vulnerable without the suit, and there had been instances when his technology had either malfunctioned due to outside tampering, or he himself hadn't been aware of any danger or not fast enough to activate his suit.

The losses Peter had suffered due to his superhero alter ego, had left the younger man scarred and traumatized, and Tony could hardly fault him for that.

Arriving in her personal lab (a space he usually loved to share with Peter, but after the events of yesterday evening, the brunette would probably avoid the lab – and the tower as a whole – for a while) Tony had narrowed down three major obstacles that stood in the way of him and his love.

The first was his suit.

Peter was right. Technology wasn't infallible, and Iron Man was due for an upgrade anyway. For years now, Tony Stark had spearheaded any advancements there were in the field of engineering. It was time to take the next step.

A press of a button and a command typed into his holographic interface, brought up the specs of all of his suits. From the clunky and uncomfortable Mark 1, to the sleek nano-technology Mark 75.

The second problem, was the fragility of his human body.

There would be no point in creating the perfect Iron Man suit, if he fell victim to things like illness, infection, or senility. The age difference between him and Peter was another sore spot. Meeting and falling for the Spiderling when Tony had already been in his late 40's was bad luck, because it would leave them with that much less time to spend with each other. Bruce and Peter, both sharing an interest in the sciences dealing with biology, cross species dynamics and mutations, had figured out that the spider bite that had given Peter his powers, had also slowed down the rate of cell decay in his body. They had estimated that the brunette would likely live way past a hundred years. Which meant that he deserved far more than the maybe 30 to 40 years that Tony still had in him. If Tony wanted to be with his Baby Boy for as long as possible, the too short human lifespan was a hurdle that needed to be overcome.

More tapping on the holographic keyboard opened up all the files he had on the Extremis virus. The genius had isolated the cause of it's recipients exploding two years ago, and fixed it. The only reason he hadn't utilized the new and improved Extremis sooner, was that it was one of those 'too powerful for humanity' things, that morally uptight people like Rogers would frown upon. Also, he hadn't felt that he needed it, placing far more trust and value into his suits. Just goes to show, doesn't it? Even Tony Stark was wrong sometimes.

The third major stepping stone were Spiderman's villains.

This was both the easiest and hardest to fix. The easiest way (and quite frankly the one Tony himself would prefer) was to kill them. Again, Peter was right. It didn't matter how many times the spider-themed hero beat them and handed them over into Shield custody, they always found a way out of their imprisonment. And as soon as they did, their main goal was to make Peter pay.

However, Tony also understood why Peter could never bring himself (or allow anyone else) to eliminate them for good.

Harry had been his best friend since childhood, Conners and Octavius had been mentors, and Eddie Brock had been a pseudo older brother. And even disregarding the personal feelings and history that bound Peter to each man, non of them were technically evil.

Harry had been a terminally ill teenager, hoping to escape his father's fate. The serum he had thought would cure him, had molded and messed up his body and mind, akin to someone who had been drugged or brainwashed.

Conners and Octavius had been decent, even honorable, men, who had sought to use their intelligence and research to help people in need. It had backfired and, as with Harry, twisted their minds, and in Conners case, mutated his body.

Brock had simply been unfortunate to be so compatible with the symbiote that Spiderman had managed to resist and fight off. Being bonded to Venom so thoroughly had changed the man.

The fact that each of the four knew who Spiderman was underneath the mask, but had never shared that information with anyone else, had manifested the believe in Peter that somewhere, deep down, their original, good, selves were still alive. That there was still hope for reversing the transformations, restoring them to the men they used to be.

And while Tony thought it naive, he also understood. After all, it was this penchant to hope where others would have long given up, this forgiveness and purity, that had attracted him to Peter in the first place, when they had just gotten to know each other years ago.

So, no. Tony could never make Peter change his stance on his 'No killing' policy, and he didn't want to.

But neither did he want for his love to keep being haunted by the people who had, if anyone were to ask Tony, lost their right to a second chance long, long ago.

Which meant that Tony would just have to deal with them himself.

More holograms popped up, this time displaying all the information that had been gathered on Doctor Octopus, the Lizard, Green Goblin and Venom. Tony zoomed in on the black alien parasite.

And he knew just where to start.

_______________________________________

I thank you all very much for reading and hope you have a wonderful day. Remeber to drink enough water and give yourself frequent breaks if you start getting stressed. Be fair to yourself and treat yourself with kindness, as you deserve no less. Find at least one thing to truly smile about today (and every other day). Also, never be too hard on yourself should you fail at something. Nobody is perfect, and it is often through defeat, that we learn how to overcome many of life’s difficulties.

Tagging: I simply always tag anyone who commented on the last chapter, if you don’t want to be tagged, drop me a quick message, please.

@sassy-starker @momobaby227 @retroxvailles @grimalkinmessor @bbalienbae @deliciousflapbanditfarm @starkersenses @kirakishou @von--gelmini @kaddiisarat

Kaddiisarat for some reason didn’t work? I’m really sorry honey, I tried!

Please tell me if I forgot anyone!

#starker #fanfic #superior iron man #Tony turns superior out of love #spider-man #peter parker #tony stark #mixed up canon #canon divergent #Dark!Tony #love #obsession #turning to the dark side #adult!peter #still a bit of an age gap though #op lurafita

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coyotesongwriting · 5 years ago

Text

Damned - Ch. 1

Avengers - Bucky Barnes/Reader

Chapter 1 - Baghdad

Story Summary: When your mission goes sideways and you find yourself locked up through a case of mistaken identity, you don’t see how things could get much worse. Until you find you have no way to contact the team or even let them know you’re alive. One disaster after another leaves you facing a series of impossible situations, and your very life hangs in the balance. Will Bucky find you in time or are you Damned?

Series Warnings: Abuse, Torture, Murder, Death, Graphic Descriptions Of Violence, Death Row, Jail, Assault, Threats of Sexual Assault, Abuse of Power, PTSD

Word Count: 3588

Author’s Note: I hope you enjoy this one! It’s going to be a darker fic, and I can’t promise that there’s going to be a happy ever after for this one. In fact, the ending of this fic is up to you guys! If you want your vote to be counted on whether or not there is a happy ending, go to this post and cast your vote.

Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters so don’t sue me please. I just really like them haha

Series Masterlist

The best part of being home was waking up pressed against Bucky’s chest. In the mornings after you two were finally reunited after a long mission, you’d wake up facing each other, your face buried in his chest. The two of you would usually stay up late on those nights, unwilling to look away as you memorized the other’s face. Your missions could keep you away for months, and since your assignments left you so deep undercover most of SHIELD didn’t know you existed, the two of you could often go weeks without getting to exchange a phone call or even texts. No matter how long the distance, the two of you always seemed to make it work though and you’d been together for four years now.

The worst times were when you’d return from a long mission only to find Bucky had been sent on his own assignment. Unfortunately, it was beginning to feel like Fury was against the two of you. You’d come back from a two-month mission in Japan to find Bucky was in the middle of an assignment in Peru. By the time he was coming home three weeks later, you already had your orders for your next mission in Baghdad. This next one was going to be a tough mission, you’d be going completely undercover with no one but your partners, Maya and Kevin, to have your back and you’d be out of contact with everyone for the duration of the mission. If things went right, you’d be home in 9 weeks, tops.

Bucky’s soft moan drew you back to the present as he brushed a gentle kiss to your forehead. He was always soft and gentle in the quiet mornings before the day started. The early morning sunlight danced across his face, lighting up his gorgeous eyes. God, he always looked so gorgeous in the morning light, not that he wasn’t always handsome but these moments where it was all softness were your favorite.

You let out a quiet hum as you leaned up, capturing his lips in yours. His warm hand slowly began to run down your side, and you let out a breathless chuckle as he rolled onto his back, pulling you on top of him. Your fingers tangled in his hair as his hand rested on your hip, but before things could go much farther your stomach let out a harsh growl.

Bucky had finally come home yesterday and after catching up with the rest of the team, you’d retreated to the room you shared. You’d stayed in your room all night, not leaving for anything - not even to eat dinner and it seemed like your stomach wasn’t a big fan of that decision. He laughed as you groaned in frustration, throwing your head back.

“Come on, Doll. Let’s get some food in you.”

“Bucky” you whined dramatically, “Can’t we stay in bed a little longer?”

“I wish we could, but did you hear your stomach? I don’t want you waking the whole tower.”

You shot him a playful glare, smacking his shoulder as you rolled off of him to lay on your back by him, “It wasn’t that loud, jerk”

“Whatever you say. Now come on. Fury will kill me if I let you leave without eating.”

You threw your arm over your eyes, “Don’t remind me. I can’t believe we don’t even get 24 hours this time.”

“I know. I was going to wait until after breakfast to tell you this but… I told Fury that when you get back from this mission I’m taking a month off and if he doesn’t like it? I don’t care.”

Your eyes lit up and you quickly moved to look at him, “Really?”

He nodded but before he could speak you’d leaned forward, crashing your lips against his. His hand found its way back to your body and your hands tangled in his hair. You never made it to breakfast, or out of the room at all until it was time to leave. In the end, you didn’t even have time to grab something from the kitchen, already running late.

“Really [Y/N]?” Maya laughed, throwing a brown paper bag at you as you stepped onto the Quinjet.

“Do you own a clock [Y/L/N]? We were supposed to be in the air 15 minutes ago.” Maria sighed, quickly finishing the pre-flight checklist and getting the jet into the air.

You were taking the Quinjet over to Ohio, and then you’d take a car down to Houston where you’d fly out from. Bucky had tried to convince Fury to let him fly it back, but Fury had wanted no part in that plan so instead, Maria was tasked with accompanying you two as far as Ohio.

“Sorry, got a bit held up” you smirked, opening the bag Maya had thrown to find a sandwich and chips. Maya knew you so well. You set the bag down for a moment, and curled your hands into the shape of a heart, mouthing ‘I love you’ before you began to dig in.

“Sure you did. Long night?” Maya winked, tossing her mousey brown hair over her shoulder. She’d been talking about chopping it off for a while now, but then Fury had told you about this mission and she’d been forced to wait until after unless she wanted to deal with a wig - her least favorite thing. All she’d talked about lately was finally getting to chop it off and rock a pixie cut.

“And morning.” you chuckled, quickly meeting her high five.

Maya had been your best friend since middle school when you’d both been sent to the same group home, and you’d quickly become joined at the hip. Maya had been abandoned as a newborn and had nothing from her birth family, even her name had been given to her by her caseworker. No home ever come for her and instead, she’d spent years bouncing from foster home to foster home. You’d never known your father, and when your mom died of a drug overdose you’d ended up in the system with her.

Luckily, you’d stayed at the same group home for a few years, and when you were removed from there due to overcrowding, your caseworker had managed to find a foster home who would take you both. As far as the rest of the world was concerned the two of you were sisters, and even the others had quickly learned not to try and argue otherwise.

You’d been there for each other through everything, from your first heartbreaks to when Maya was struggling with her sexuality. She’d eventually come to the conclusion that she was bisexual, and when your foster home tried to say that wasn’t a real thing, well, you’d managed to get kicked out for threatening to beat them up if they didn’t leave her alone. You’d ended up separated for a few months that time until your caseworkers could find a new home who would take both of you. After that, you’d both vowed to never be separated again, and you’d kept true to that.

When you turned 18, you both went off to a local college, working full-time jobs to afford your degrees. You ended up getting your bachelor’s in Criminal Justice, and Maya got a bachelor’s in Computer Science. You’d both decided to minor in Russian. By the time you’d graduated, you were both slightly obsessed with the idea of becoming spies and had enlisted in SHIELD. It hadn’t taken the two of you long to rise through the ranks, and you’d quickly caught Fury’s attention.

He’d begun placing you on harder and more secretive missions until he’d finally made the decision to have you work directly under him. Since neither of you had families, your deaths had been faked and new identities with no connection to SHIELD had been forged. For safety’s sake, you both had codes and fake names for the SHIELD emergency lines so you could get through if you needed help, but they were for extreme emergency use only.

The flight to Ohio passed quickly, you and Maya trading playful barbs about your relationships. She’d started dating this sweet girl at the coffee shop down the road, and for the first time, you’d actually approved of Maya’s relationship. Maya had the unfortunate penchant for picking the worst people, but this girl seemed perfect for her and you couldn’t wait to see where things went next for the two of them. Honestly, it wouldn’t surprise you if they ended up married someday.

When you arrived in Houston, Kevin was waiting for you. Kevin was one of your least favorite people you’d ever met. An arrogant prick was putting it nicely and he always gave you bad vibes whenever he was around, but he was good at his job. Kevin was a professional driver and an amazing translator, one of the best in the business, he had never been in a situation he couldn’t get his way out of. He was fluent in more languages than you’d even heard of, so on this trip, he’d be helping out with any translation or getaways that you required.

~~~~~

“Miss Allen? The car is here.”

You looked up from the book you’d been pretending to read to glance at Maya as she spoke. Her hair was pulled up into a tight bun, her hazel eyes scanning the busy hotel lobby. In her long pencil skirt and long-sleeved button-up, she looked every bit the respectable assistant. Of course, her clothing hid the knives that covered her body. She carried a gun or two at all times for safety’s sake, but she much preferred getting hands-on with a blade so she usually carried at least 5 different blades.

“Thank you, Annie” you smiled politely at Maya and ignored the short glare she shot your way, knowing just how much she hated her fake name this time around. There’d been an awful bully in one of the foster homes named Annie, so Maya was pretty displeased when Maria gave her that identity. You’d already been in Baghdad for six weeks, so if everything went as planned today she’d be done with the name in another week or two.

Fury had received information that SHIELD weapons were being sold illegally and had needed someone to investigate, but since SHIELD was involved he had to be very careful who he put on the mission. No one at SHIELD knew you and Maya existed except for Maria Hill and Fury, so you two were the obvious pick.

The two of you walked to the car in silence, it was time to head to your meeting with Mr. Bahar who was selling the weapons. On this mission you were a businesswoman from Canada who ran a small agency responsible for the safety of celebrities abroad, come to buy some weapons and Maya was acting as your personal assistant.

The ride passed quickly, neither of you wanting to speak too freely in front of Kevin. He’d never been outright rude towards either of you, he merely liked to think he was God’s gift to the world and so that made him a miserable conversation partner. Thankfully, it was only a short ride to Mr. Bahar’s home where you hoped the deal would finally be sealed. As soon as he sold you the weapons, you could begin tracing them back to where he was getting them, and then you could just do some clean up before heading home.

Home. You couldn’t wait to have one month with Bucky, no missions, no trips, just the two of you getting to finally be together. This would be the longest time you’d get to spend together in one stretch in almost two years and the thought of it had you wanting to race home now. Hopefully, the mission would continue to go smooth, and you’d be back in his arms within two weeks.

Mr. Bahar was there to greet you as you climbed out of the car in the courtyard of his home. Bahar had signaled for Kevin to stay behind with the vehicle, but you’d quickly explained he was your translator and Mr. Bahar had frowned slightly but had waved him along as well. You and Bahar exchanged polite small talk as he led you through his home.

Bahar’s guards were everywhere, and you quickly began to count, memorizing their faces and stations as you headed in. His house was large, and the office he led you to was very carefully decorated. From the set up of the room and lack of any computer, you immediately knew this office was merely a decoy, not the place where he truly got his work done. Maya took a seat next to you on the couch while Kevin stood behind you, his face unreadable.

The meeting was boring, long ago the standard illegal weapon purchases had become so commonplace you could just about handle them with your eyes closed. Everything went according to plan, a price and delivery location finally agreed on. You slipped a bug into the couch as you headed out of the office. When the time to leave was drawing near, Maya asked if she could use the restroom. When they pointed her down the right hallway, she slipped off to go plant some more bugs throughout the house and find the real office.

The minutes ticked by as you made more small talk with Bahar, regaling him with tales of your favorite soccer games. It had been too long. Maya should have been back by now, and Bahar was beginning to grow suspicious. You could see the wariness in his eyes as he began to study you and Kevin, and you opened your mouth, preparing to offer an excuse for her absence. Before you could say a word, gunshots rang out through the courtyard. You and Kevin dove to take shelter in an alcove on the side of the home.

Bahar’s guards shoved him towards their SUV, but before they made it even a few feet they were gunned down, collapsing onto the sand at his feet. Bahar turned to you, his eyes wild with panic as he began to race towards you. He didn’t even take two steps before another shot echoed and the back of his head seemed to explode. He fell, his vacant eyes staring up at you as blood seeped out the gunshot in his forehead.

“We need to get Maya” you growled to Kevin, drawing your favorite pistol from its holster.

Kevin didn’t say a word, merely nodding his head as you lead the way carefully towards the side door a few feet to your left. Your heart pounded as adrenaline coursed through your veins, you couldn’t see the shooters on the roof, they were on the building directly above you and you could only pray they didn’t see you. The stars seemed to be on your side as you both managed to slip through the door before the sand exploded behind you with a missed shot.

The hallway you’d slipped into was thankfully deserted, and you nodded your head towards the archway on the left. Kevin didn’t argue, merely nodded his head and pulled his gun, heading off on his own as you headed right. He may be an ass, but he was good at his job and he would do everything in his power to find Maya, of that you could at least be certain.

You slipped down hall after hall, rounding corners quickly. The building was deadly silent, the quiet only broken by the occasional crack of a gunshot and you found yourself praying that it wasn’t your team getting shot. Your ears strained, searching for any sounds, a whimper of pain or the slow thud of footsteps to give you any clue as to what was going on.

The creak of a door to your left gave you just enough to move before the vase behind you shattered into a million pieces, the ceramic raining down to the floor with a loud clatter. You whirled to face your attacker, the shot ripping from your gun as you squeezed the trigger. The man didn’t stand a chance, the bullet piercing his eye and he crumpled to the ground.

You didn’t even spare him a second glance as you rounded the corner and came face to face with a heavy wooden door. You pushed the door open and the door fought back, something had fallen against the door and you struggled to get it open enough for you to slip through. You didn’t look at what it was until you were in the room, and once you did you felt the air fly from your lungs as your knees slammed into the cool marble floor.

Time stopped as lifeless hazel eyes stared up at the ceiling and a whimper tore itself from your throat as you studied Maya. You were frozen, unable to move for the longest time as you studied her. She lay in a pool of blood, her pale yellow shirt stained with the vibrant red. You could see the hole in her shirt, directly over her heart and knew that her death had been instant. The stillness that had overcome you was broken, and you set your gun down, scooping Maya’s body up in your arms and clutching her to your chest.

Thoughts began to race through your head, memories of everything you’d been through flying past and the promises you’d yet to fulfill seemed to fill your mind. She’d never get her happily ever after, she’d never get to go to the bar with you again. You’d never stay up late with her talking about love and loss and she’d never help you prank Bucky again. Realizations of everything lost in that one gunshot were all that it took to leave you sobbing, all memories of the warzone outside the door forgotten as you held your dead sister.

Her head lolled back in your grasp and you pulled her tighter to you, not even noticing the red that began to sink into your own clothing. You didn’t notice the door opening, didn’t register the hand on your shoulder until they tried to pull you back away from her. You shrugged out of their grasp, not even looking at them, not caring.

“We need to go. They’re killing everyone they find” Kevin’s voice was soft but determined.

You barely heard him speak. It was like being underwater, his voice muffled and distant. You were too lost in your thoughts, too lost in the memories to care. After everything you’d faced with Maya, with every battle you’d won and fight you’d lost, a mission as simple as this should never have been her downfall. Kevin’s hand squeezed your shoulder, and his repeated calls of your real name finally seemed to pull you out, and you realized for the first time that the low keening you’d been hearing was you.

“[Y/N]. We have to go. Now” Kevin tried to pull you away again.

You shot him a death glare, your voice breaking as you spoke, “No. I’m not, I’m not leaving her.”

“Maya wouldn’t want you to die too,” he growled. Footsteps were drawing near, and you were supposed to be in charge.

He swept your pistol up from the ground and began to pull you away from her body. You fought him, struggling to remain with her, only giving up once he slid your pistol back into your hand. Kevin had locked the door and as the door handle began to jiggle, he pulled you from the room through the window.

You managed to spare one last glance behind at Maya’s body, her head had fallen facing the window when Kevin had pulled you away, and her gaze seemed to be locked onto you. After a long moment, you tore your eyes from hers, wiping the tears from your eyes as Kevin pulled you towards the car. Dust began to rise in the air from the tires as you sped away, leaving Maya lying alone on the floor.

~~Five Days Later~~

“You wanted to see us?” Bucky asked, taking a seat at the conference room table, the last one in like always.

The whole team had gathered, and Fury stood at the head of the table. His face was unreadable as always, but there was an unexpected tension in the room and Bucky began to grow impatient, tapping his fingers methodically on the coffee mug in his hands when Fury didn’t speak right away.

Fury’s voice was steady as he spoke, “Five days ago, [Y/N]’s team went for a meeting with a man suspected of selling SHIELD weapons to anyone with the money. We lost all contact with the team after a shootout.” Bucky sat up ramrod straight, his heart beginning to race as Fury continued, “Unfortunately, we can now confirm that Maya was killed in the fight. We identified her body this morning. Kevin and [Y/N] are missing, and we have been unable to find or contact them. We’re doing our best.”

Silence fell over the room, everyone afraid to be the first to speak. No one wanted to be the one to ask if you were dead if they Fury thought there was even a chance you were still alive. A loud crash broke the silence as the mug in Bucky’s hand shattered, coffee spilling all over the table.

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Taglist: @he-is-chaotic-she-is-psychotic @queenoftheunderdark@redfoxwritesstuff @brokenthelovely @collinsstanharbour @samsgoddess @imma-new-soul @firefly-in-darkness @wolfiegal98 @brynnloh

#bucky barnes x reader #Bucky Barnes #Winter Soldier #winter soldier x reader #Fanfic #Marvel The Avengers #Marvel's The Avengers #marvels the avengers #Marvel's Avengers #marvel #Avengers #The Avengers #reader insert

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